


Lessons in Overlording

by deadlegato



Series: Snake Eyes and Sinners [5]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, marathon tagging, we really need an all the characters tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27669352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlegato/pseuds/deadlegato
Summary: After a viral video catches Valentino's eye, he becomes interested in knowing more about Sir Pentious. Will Pentious find that having his wishes granted means having his dreams destroyed? Forces with a beef against Alastor tangling their issues up in the snake's problems make for a complicated web to unweave. Good thing we have a few spiders on hand to help.
Relationships: Arackniss/Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: Snake Eyes and Sinners [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004868
Comments: 55
Kudos: 46





	1. Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> [For reference, if you’re looking at a timeline, this occurs between Krampus day, Dec 5th, and New Year’s day, which is generally accepted as extermination day in fanon (if not canon, of which I’m not sure)]
> 
> This also heavily draws on "Nice Work if you can Get It" from the first part of this series, so if you're confused about characters start there. At this point, the major thing you need to know is that Ghost is another cobra demon and Pentious' stalker ex-boyfriend. 
> 
> Also, multiple angst bomb alerts ahead.

Taking a long breath, Pentious closed his eyes and dove into the pool. Water swirled around his body as his tail worked its way side to side, pushing him forward. He finally emerged at the other end, breaking the water with a toss of this hood. There was a certain elegance to swimming that even his graceful slithering couldn’t match.

Niffty clapped. “My turn, my turn!” she said, holding her nose and jumping off the diving board.

Pentious waited for her to come back up, but when he realized he was seeing only bubbles, he made haste for the deep end to grab her.

“Thanks,” she coughed. “I’m going to get it right next time!”

“I think that might be enough diving practice for now, Miss Niffty. There’s only so much pool water one demon should swallow in a single day. Be sure to shower the extra pool chemicals off before you change. They can be hard on your skin,” he encouraged as she climbed up the ladder out of the pool.

As he reached for the ladder himself, an arm reached up out of the water and seized his. He didn’t have time to catch his breath or scream before he was pulled under. A mob of white hands gripped his arms and tail, dragging him down, pulling him far deeper than the hotel pool could possibly go. A pounding, throbbing noise filled up his head, making it impossible to think. His body grew cold as the hands dragged him into blacker waters, where no light could possibly reach him. He tried to scream, but his mouth filled with frigid water, running into his lungs and turning them to ice.

The water closed around him, swallowing him up, leaving nothing left inside his soul.

.

He woke with a start and touched his arms, realizing he really was freezing. In his tossing and turning, he’d pulled the plug for his electric blanket out of the wall. Funny to think one could be cold in Hell, but the drafty hotel wasn’t really designed to accommodate a large, cold-blooded serpent.

Speaking of hotel, it seemed unusually quiet that night. It was just approaching midnight, and usually someone was out clanking about at that time. Pentious shrugged it off and removed his phone from its charger. He was wide awake now, and at least he could check Fiendbook before he tried to go back to sleep.

Charlie had insisted they friend each other when he moved into the hotel, and it was Charlie’s post he saw first on opening the app. The princess, her girlfriend, Husk, Angel, Niffty, Cherri, and a mildly annoyed looking Alastor were gathered for a photo. Even the stupid fish man was there, although he was almost cut out of the photo. “At the Hell’s Bells concert tonight! Third row seats!” the caption read.

Pentious’ hand tightened around his phone to avoid dropping it in his anger. Some time ago, when he’d just arrived at the hotel, he had observed that Hell’s Bells had a local concert coming up to Angel while they were sitting opposite one another in the dining room. “I’d really like to go, but I don’t have anyone to go with.” Niss had already expressed that he wouldn’t be able to attend, as that concert hall was unionized by a rival group. Angel had simply shrugged.

Angel had known he wanted to go, and yet… there they were, all at the concert without him. Well… I can’t leave the hotel because of Ghost, he tried to reason with himself. Angel isn’t your friend. He has no obligation to invite you anywhere.

Still… the fact that Angel had seen fit to invite everyone EXCEPT him stung. He could have at least said they were going but understood why Pentious couldn’t join them. He could have offered to bring back a shirt or something. 

But… that was the kind of thing friends did for each other, and Angel wasn’t his friend, he reminded himself once again. No one at that hotel was really his friend. He didn’t even belong there. He was only there to get away from Ghost. If Ghost were captured, Baxter and Angel would probably be the first ones at his door to help him pack up and leave.

He had watched a certain movie meant for kids because it seemed ridiculously popular even among adult demons, and he didn’t want to be left behind on the trends. He’d never been able to get a few specific lines of a song out of his head. “Or are you someone out there, who’s a little bit like me? Who knows deep down, I’m not where I’m meant to be?”

.

Across the pentagram, Arackniss was working late again. He wished he could be snuggled up with his snake, but… duty calls. His phone started to ring, irritating him as he knew that ring tone meant an urgent call “Hello? What? What do you mean?! I had Greg and Lou on watch! … You can’t find them either? Well, get someone in there to put out the fire and someone in there to find them. Do I have to tell you how to do everything you…” the tirade of words that came out next were all in Italian, but anyone would have known they were impolite.

He set down the phone and rubbed his eyes, all of them. He picked it up again and started to dial Pentious’ number, then stopped. He… the news could wait until morning. Pentious didn’t need to be awake all night worrying about it.

.

The gym at the hotel, being a gym built for creatures of hell, contained equipment such as dance poles and aerial hoops. Needing to work out some of his anxious energy, Pentious grabbed onto the hoops and twisted himself around until he got his tail up as well. He’d done some hoop work during his time on the show circuit, although not a lot of it.

Still, besides swimming, it was one of his favorite physical activities. He was fond of both for the same reason. Normally, at least half of his body constantly dragged along the ground. Having his massive body lifted felt freeing. Maybe that was also why he was so obsessed with airships.

Grip with the tail. Change hoops. Handstand. Arch back. Spin. Spin upside down, using only the tail to hold on. Use the position of your arms to change spin speed. It was a routine he hadn’t done in decades, but his muscles still remembered it all.

“When I said you should go for amateur night at the club, I didn’t know you’d take it so seriously,” Angel said, breaking his concentration. He was wearing stripped leggings over his boots, and an oversized white t-shirt over shorts that made him look like he’d just walked out of an 80’s aerobics video. Pentious, for his part, was wearing a charcoal grey tank top. Simple, but efficient to work out in. 

“Please be more considerate, you could have made me slip and fall,” he snapped. He wanted to say Did you have fun at the concert, but he held it back.

“Seriously, though, that was good work. Not as good as me, but maybe good enough to take second billing to me some day with a little more practice.”

“I almost had this routine ready to take on stage, before Ghost pulled the plug on it.”

“I can see why. You could have had all eyes on you, and no one would have even remembered he was standing there. You know I don’t like you, so I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass to be nice. I can tell you’re self-taught, but a few lessons, you might actually be pretty damn good.” Yes, he knew very well Angel didn’t like him. Last night had rubbed his face in that.

“Did you just come up here to criticize my technique?”

“Nah, I wanna practice a new routine. I gotta turn the music on for it, so you can either shut up and enjoy the mood or you can leave.”

.

“Really? Brittney Spears?”

“What did I say about shutting up and putting up?” he asked, taking hold of the pole and stretching out. “Not like you could keep up with me anyway, old man.”

Pentious narrowed his eyes. He was somewhat naturally competitive, and began to follow the spider’s moves, changing them as necessary for the fact that he was on hoops instead of a pole. Angel noticed, and to his surprise, didn’t get offended. In fact, he seemed to get more into it with a workout partner. It became a challenge, to see how the snake would react to following his movements. Pentious, for his part, was determined to prove that he could virtually anything the spider could do, with adjustments for his different choice of technique and lack of legs. Angel thought Pentious would get exhausted quickly and was surprised by how well the snake was keeping up with him.

“I’m not that innocent!” Final big finish. Both were absolutely huffing, their chests rising and falling from the workout.

“WOOO! WOOOOOO!” a voice called. “FUCKING ENCORE! Unf, I think I came.” 

Pentious fell off the rings for real this time. “Cherri??? How long were you standing there? And were you… filming!?”

“Angel gets me to film his routines so he can watch them back and look for places he needs to make changes.”

“You… you could have gotten my consent before filming me, too!” the flustered snake protested.

“I didn’t know you were going to invite yourself to the show. But seriously, that was awesome, and is gonna make a whole bunch of guys jizz in their pants.”

“… And I just got them to stop messaging me after the burrito video.”

“I’m not posting the whole thing, because the point is just to tease them enough to get bodies in the seats with tip money, not to give them a free show.” While she didn’t exactly approve of Angel’s boss (if asked bluntly, she downright despised him), but making sure Angel made enough to stay on his good side was important to her. “If you’re so worried, I won’t tag you by name this time, okay? I’ll call you… Mx. Stery!”

“… That’s terrible. Even by my standards.”

“Aaaaaand it’s posted, so too late.”

.

“Boss?” one of the other girls who worked the same club as Angel asked, drawing the attention of the tall, thin moth. “Who is this? Does Angel have a new partner? I thought I was supposed to be on routine with him next week?!” she said angrily. Working with Angel meant good tips, and she didn’t want her turn to be skipped.

The smile her boss made when he watched the video sent shivers down her spine.

.

Pentious was elated to get a surprise visit from Arackniss. “Niiiiiiss!” he cried happily. Fortunately, snakes don’t sweat, so he didn’t have to worry about being all stinky after his work out. “Niss?” he asked more tentatively when the spider didn’t smile back.

“There’s… I’m just going to give it to you straight and be honest with you, Pent. There was a big fire at your house last night. The two guys I had guarding the place are… well, they did a shit job of it, didn’t they?”

“… Big fire?” the snake asked, looking a little shaky. “… How big?”

“Just,” he paused and sighed. “Just be glad your airship is here and not there, because it might end up being the only thing we can salvage.”

He watched the air go out of the snake, the coils deflating as he sank down. It wasn’t entirely the loss of the material possessions. He’d had to start over building up things several times since arriving in Hell. It was when the message of ‘I’m going to take everything from you’ included things he couldn’t replace that it bothered him.

“It has to be Ghost. He’s putting everyone in danger because of me,” he finally said.

“No. He’s putting everyone in danger because of his ego. You have nothing to do with his decisions.”

“But if he does anything to you because of me…”

“He won’t.”

The snake wouldn’t meet the spider’s eyes. They both knew that his two confrontations with Ghost so far had resulted in a draw and a loss.

.

Earlier that morning, Arackniss had been on-site to study the fire damage when received the worst possible news that only what was *left* of Lou and Greg had been discovered. Ghost wanted them to know that he was very much still in possession of the angelic weapon, and that he had no problems using it.

There was another problem. His father wanted to know why he’d spared the expense to put guards around the house of what, to his knowledge, was a simple gunsmith with a drug addiction. After evaluating the damage for himself, Arackniss sank down against the burned remains of the outer wall of what had been the house, lost in his cigarette. He couldn’t tell what smoke smells were coming from it and what smells were coming from the damaged building behind him. The last thing he needed was those kind of questions from his father.

If Ghost found out about his father’s feelings towards male-male relationships and his father’s feelings about the idea of him being in contact again with his porn star brother… ugh. Ghost could use those things to his advantage far too easily. He punched the ground, needing something to take his anger out on. He was going to have to do something about that crawling snake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical influences for this chapter
> 
> Florence + The Machine- Drumming Song  
> Frozen 2 - Into the Unknown  
> Brittney Spears- Oops, I did it again


	2. Tactical Errors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions have consequences

“Is everything okay?” Charlie asked, her voice as soft as always. She must have been able to see the pain in the spider and snake’s eyes.

“Ghost is… Ghost set fire to Pent’s house last night. It’s… it’s probably a total loss. Charlie… you’re the princess of Hell. Can’t you DO something?” Arackniss pleaded.

“My family intentionally does not get involved in inter-demon problems. If we did it for one demon, every demon would expect us to do it for them or they’d cry foul and favoritism.” It was clear she wanted to help, but her hands were tied by politics.

“The best we can do is make sure Ghost can’t get into the hotel. If he somehow got through the barrier Alastor would probably make him into a suitcase,” Vaggie added. It was hard to tell because Alastor never broke character in public, but Charlie and Vaggie were reasonably sure he was annoyed that Ghost was trying to involve him in Ghost’s fight with Pentious.

“I’D like to make him into a pair of boots, so I can drag him through the mud every time it rains. Tell the Radio Demon to save some parts for me if he ever does get his claws on Ghost.” Arackniss paused, groaned and rubbed the fur on his head. “Some days, I almost think I’d prefer a Hell that was just a pit of fire. That would be less complicated.”

“Mom told me that dad tried that back in the old days, but he found that allowing people to keep making their own bad decisions worked better than giving them an external force they could blame for what was happening to them.”

Damn. He knew her father was Lucifer, but somehow it often didn’t click to him that her father was the literal DEVIL. She was just so nice she made it easy to forget. If no one had told him which was which, he would have guessed that Vaggie was the daughter of the devil.

Arackniss sighed, turning back to Pentious. “Look, I really want to stay, I do, but the fire situation has pops’ hair up, so… I have to make myself scarce the next couple of days. I’ll be back when it’s all clear, I promise.”

.

“I... might have made a small tactical error,” Cherri said, scrolling through her feed. She’d lost her usual smile.

“What do you mean?” Angel asked.

She handed her phone over to Angel. “More than half the comments are about snake boy. Asking if you got a new dance partner, asking if anyone can tell if that’s a male or a female snake, asking if the snake is available for private crush fetish sessions. Oh, and asking how to tip the snake if the snake doesn’t wear undergarments. Problem is, many of the comments left about snake boy are really nasty. Like, levels of nasty even I wouldn’t go to when turf battling him. I don’t think he’s thick scaled enough to handle a full out flame war. I’m glad I didn’t tag him. Old man would flip if he saw this.”

Angel groaned. “Yeah, he’s so damn sensitive.” A text message notification that made Angel cringe came through. “... Someone else flipped when he saw the response,” he informed her. “Ugh. Niss will jump up my ass if something that was posted because of me makes his stupid snake weepy, and with Val already jumping up there, there’s no more room! I am not looking forward to work tonight.”

At that moment, breaking through the tension, a very large robot vacuum carrying Husk and his drink came through the room. “This is sufficient,” he said with his usual lack of enthusiasm before it disappeared into the next room.

“… Why is it that every time I visit this hotel, it’s gotten weirder?” Cherri asked.

“I ask myself that daily. Pentious must have built that for him. He’s always trying to post stuff to get likes. Bet he saw a video of a cat on a vacuum that got a ton of likes and thought he’d try to copy it.”

Indeed, this was the story behind Husk’s new vacuum ride. That, and Pentious had to keep himself busy so his mind wouldn’t wander to darker places. Places where he’d locked away his memories of Ghost. He’d been having a hard time keeping himself out of those thoughts lately. He’d even given up on his attempts to quit using the pills Arackniss was still willing to smuggle into him, as he couldn’t sleep without them. 

.

Arackniss heard a ping on his phone and checked it. It was a photo message from Pentious of Husk riding the vacuum robot. “Do u think this is ky-ute enough to get lots and lots of likes?!1!” he asked. “Dould I post it?”

Arackniss shook his head. How could someone who could build an entire airship with multiple laser weapons from scratch and fix any gun in existence be so terrible with digital technology? Still… he had to admit. That lack of internet savvy was one of the snake’s most endearing traits. It gave him just enough of an air of innocence that Aracnkiss wanted to bundle him up and protect him from the rest of Hell. It was easy to forget that he was a contender for Overlord of Hell when he couldn’t figure out how to turn his automatic flash off and kept getting surprised by the accidentally turning on the front-facing camera.

“Post whatever makes you happy, noodle,” he replied.

.

“Hey, Angel, sweetie. You got a moment?”

Angel flinched, hearing that voice. There was no saying no to that voice. “Yes, Val?” he asked, hoping Val wasn’t in a bad mood. The earlier text message had been just tightly worded enough to leave him uncertain, with a knot in his stomach all morning.

“You know I don’t mind you coming up with new routines, but you really need to run them past me first before publicizing them. Especially if you’re going to bring a new partner into the act.”

His heart was pounding in his chest. “That... that was just me working out with a friend. With... with my brother’s boyfriend, actually!”

“Really? Because you can’t just tease our clients like that and then deny them the show they’ve been expecting. That makes daddy... cranky. You’ve never introduced me to your brother or his boyfriend. That hurts my feelings, Angel.”

“I… I.., I can’t bring them to the club! It’s not that I don’t to! It’s that Alastor has a barrier around the hotel that won’t let snakes in or out.”

“… Oh, I think you can, Angel. You know what can break the barrier of one Overlord? Three Overlords.”

.

The walk up the pathway to the hotel took Angel twice as long as usual. He’d checked that his brother’s car wasn’t in the parking lot three times. He even stopped to smoke a cigarette before going inside.

He finally dragged himself inside. Husk had already gone off duty, and there was no sight of Charlie, Vaggie, or Alastor. Good. The walk up the stairs was as heavy as his knock on Pentious’ door.

At first, he thought Pentious might not answer, and he might get a reprieve. Unfortunately, the stupid snake answered his door, wrapped in a fuzzy yellow bathrobe. “Angel?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. “Is something wrong? It’s three-thirty in the morning.”

“Can we talk? Not here. In the lobby.”

“Is… is Niss okay?!”

“Yeah, yeah, this has nothing to do with him.”

“Then what?”

“I’ll explain downstairs.”

Angel turned on the big television in the lobby. It was normally kept off because of Alastor’s dislike of it. “Need some background noise,” he said. “I need to ask you something honestly. Do you still want to be an Overlord?”

“Excuse me?”

“Even after all this time, with the princess protecting you from Ghost, and being nice to you even though you’re not technically one of hers… do you still want to be an Overlord?”

“Of… of course I do! What kind of stupid question is that?”

“Why?”

“Well… because… if you’re not the apex predator, you’re just food. Isn’t that right?”

“Yeah. Food. Just food,” Angel said. “That’s funny, Pent.” Pentious realized Angel hadn’t looked him in the eye once since knocking on his door.

“What’s going on?” he finally asked.

“Val... he... uh...he wants to meet ya.”

Pentious’ eyes lit up and his hood stood in excitement. “What finally drew his attention to my brilliance? Was it my blimp? It had to be my blimp. Or was it the video of the robot vacuum I made for…”

“Are you really okay with that?” Angel asked, cutting Pentious off. “If Val called you up, right now, and said ‘Do you want to meet me, you’d say yes?”

“I would be a fool not to. I mean… it’s not like any of you really even want me here, right?” he said, trying to sound like he was laughing it off.

“This is serious, Pentious. Dead Serious. If Val called you up, right now, and said ‘Do you want to meet me,’ would you say yes?”

“… Yes.”

“… That’s all I needed you to say.”

“Angel? What is…” he stopped, as he felt hands on his arms. He realized the arms were coming out of the television behind him. “Angel?” he asked with a confused, pleading tone in his voice. A moment later he was sucked backwards into the television, leaving only his discarded bathrobe on the floor.

Angel’s throat tightened. It wasn't his fault, right? If he hadn’t delivered Pentious to Val, Val would have his head for it. It was him or Pentious, and wasn’t it right that he’d choose to protect himself? He’d asked Pentious if he wanted to go, and the snake said yes. It wasn’t his fault.

Of course, once Val got his hooks into Pentious… that would probably be it for him and Arackniss, right? He couldn’t imagine Val letting their relationship continue if he was going to make Pentious his property. If he’d just sold Pentious out the way he’d sold himself out.

“Oh baby, baby. Oops, I did it again,” he said to no one, head down, staring at his boots. “I broke up my family. Sorry, Charlie. I haven’t… I haven’t changed at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who haven't read nice work:
> 
> OC Character Profile
> 
> Demon Name: Ghost
> 
> Human Name: Thaddeus Appletop
> 
> Age/Time of Death: Mid-50’s, 3-5 years prior to Pentious (he changes his story frequently), of illness in India
> 
> Appearance: an albino king cobra. He originally had four arms but had since lost one. He has some blue eyes on his body, but far fewer than Pentious and noticeably not on his hood as he has no hypnotic abilities.
> 
> Personality: Narcissist, pathological liar, and domestic abuser. He can be charming when things are going his way, but when they aren’t, he quickly flips. What’s his is his and what’s yours is his. He attempted to commit murder/suicide by Exorcist rather than accept his days of stardom were over. He has a thing for younger men as he wants to be with someone he can control. 
> 
> Abilities: In life and in death, Ghost’s major motivator is to constantly be the center of attention. In a fitting bit of ironic punishment, his main power as a demon is the ability to disappear. He says he can also detect lies, but as he is a pathological liar himself, it is uncertain if this is true.
> 
> Why he’s in Hell: He killed three former lovers by forcing drug overdoses on them after he either thought they were starting to outshine him, or he feared they would leave him.
> 
> Edit to add: The notes from the previous chapter are showing up duplicated here and IDK why since they're not on my editing screen.


	3. Goodbye, Sir Pentious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, meeting your heroes isn't everything you hoped it would be.

It took a few moments for Pentious’ head to clear, as he wasn’t used to the sensation of being yanked through a television and landing in a strange room. When he could finally think straight again, he realized he was lying at the feet of the three individuals he had desperately wanted to acknowledge him: the three Vs.

“I… I am… I am so PLEASED to make your acquaintance!” he said brightly, sitting up, his eyes absolutely shining with excitement.

“Oh, no. I am the one who is having the pleasure of finally meeting Shiny Penny in the skin,” Valentino grinned, and Pentious froze up. “Tsk, that look on your face. I’m a huge fan of the old burlesque acts! To think that I wouldn’t recognize one of the great beauties. You insult me. It really was a loss for the stage when you decided to quit.”

“Looking for your phone?” Velvet pointed out as the snake’s hands subconsciously moved to his chest. “You won’t be needing that anymore. We’ll get you a nice new one. You want to be an Overlord, right?”

“Well… yes! Yes!” He said it out loud. He wished for it. He begged the stars in the fake night sky for it every night. He wanted to be respected, adored. He wanted everyone to love and fear him… no, to bow to him.

“We’re gonna hve to give you a new name,” Velvet said. “We can’t have you going around by anything as silly as Shiny Penny or Sir Pentious.”

He tightened his hands into fists, clawed fingers digging into his palms. “I… I spent a lot of time building up my reputation! I can’t just throw…”

Val started laughing hysterically. He had to wipe away a tear from the laughter. “Your reputation? Your REPUTATION? Oh, you fool. Velvet, show him the difference between us and him.”

She held out her phone. “Watch this,” she grinned, showing him a terrible, blurry shot of a crowd. “Awful pic, right? But I just post it aaaand the likes just start rolling in,” she said, letting him watch as the numbers shot up.

“Now let’s look at YOUR social media,” Val said.

Velvet switched over. “Huh. Looks like your last couple of posts haven’t broken double digits. Oh, wait, my mistake. None of them have. In fact, let’s look at this video Angel’s little friend posted. Look at those comments! They _hate_ you,” she snickered as his face fell.

“Now, tell me again: WHAT reputation are you so worried about losing? Did you really think you were going to make it anywhere with those silly toy machines of yours?! What a joke!” The three broke out laughing to emphasize how funny they thought he was. Pentious continued to stare down at his hands.

“Tell me this. Why did you spend all that time fucking around with those toy machines of yours when your real power is your hypnotism? I know what Shiny Penny did. What you’re capable of.” Pentious’ hood twitched. He couldn’t be referring to… he just couldn’t. How could he know?

“Why are you repressing yourself? Don’t… haha… don’t tell me you actually feel BAD about bending others to your will?! You’re a demon who claims to want to be an Overlord, and yet, you still feel regret, remorse? Pathetic. Demons who sheds tears of repentance aren’t fit to become Overlords.”

“Xanthe! That’s a perfect new name! It means golden or yellow, like those pretty little scales of yours. I’m going to create your new brand page now. We’ll get a formal photoshoot set up in the next couple of days. They can have a few teaser shots for now,” she said, holding up her own phone.

The embarrassed snake tried to cover his body with his hands. “Let… let me put some clothes on first!” he cried.

“Oh, yes, where _are_ my manners? You appear to have arrived quite naked, and that is dear Vox’s fault. I should be polite enough to offer you some clothing.” He tapped his cane on the floor and a rack of outfits were brought in. A lump formed deep in the snake’s throat. They all looked like the old outfits he used to wear on stage. “You don’t like these? Let me offer you another choice.” It was a grey and yellow stripped jacket, like the one he usually wore. He knew it wasn’t his, but it looked close enough. “Still not to your taste? Then how about this?” he asked, trapping on the floor again. A third rack appeared, his one containing a very form-fitting leather dresses that would have reached down to where his tail touched the floor. The entire front was open, held together by thin straps, apparently in a nod to the necessity of not covering his tail eyes. 

“Snake, come here,” the moth ordered, beckoning with one finger. He found his body obeying. Valentino took him by the shoulders and guided him to the mirror. He saw himself reflected as Shiny Penny, and he shuddered. “It’s time to make a decision. Will you be Shiny Penny, the washed-up stripper?” The image in the mirror changed. Now he was dressed as usual for the last few years. “Will you be Sir Pentious, the pathetic, slithering loser who was made an absolute joke of on live television by a porn star?”

He continued. “If you choose Penny or Pentious, you’re free to go, but you slither out of here the loser you’ve always been and always will be. You choose Xanthe, you could have Hell handed to you on a platter,” he said, and the image changed once again. Pentious now saw himself in the scale-tight black dress from the rack, his eyes heavily rimmed with eyeliner. “If we like your work, we’ll make you one of us some day, Xanthe.”

“I… choose… I…” his voice stopped coming out. He couldn’t speak.

“I am a very patient teacher, but I am also a very _strict_ teacher. When I give a homework assignment, I expect my students to finish it on time,” Val said, tapping his cane in his hand like a Catholic school nun tapping her ruler. “I’ll expect you to have picked an outfit in time to join me at tonight’s show. Don’t keep me waiting.”

With that, they were gone, leaving Pentious alone in a small room. The room was decorated in garish pinks and reds, including a heart-shaped bed that was certainly too small for his body. He went to see if he could open the windows, only to discover they were fake, television screens set behind a frame. The door had disappeared when the others left. There was no way out.

.

Angel received a text message from his brother. “Hey, can you tell Pent his phone must have gone dead again? He’s not answering any of my messages.”

“Haven’t seen him all day. Will tell him when I do,” he texted back shortly. That wasn’t a lie, right?

.

Pentious was extremely hesitant to touch any of the food or drink he was offered, as he was certain it would be spiked. He’d recently eaten so he could hold out for a while, but not forever.

“What’s wrong? Not to your tastes?” Val asked. It was obvious he didn’t care what the answer was.

“Ya like the outfit? It sets off your natural color scheme. It’s called bodycon,” Velvet said with a grin. Of course he’d picked the last outfit offered. He’d be throwing away his best shot at being an Overlord if he’d chosen otherwise. “We’re really going to play up the androgynous angle. We can sell to twice as many demons if they all think you’re fuckable. You’re so lucky you slither. That means your clothes can be extra tight. Tomorrow we’ll get you off to make-up and do a shoot, so ya better not be late. The photographers charge by the miiinute, and Val HATES wasting money.” Extra tight was right. He’d lived through the era of tight lacing, but this outfit made even him feel claustrophobic and like he was going to pop out of it at the same time.

“Wait, you know what your outfit needs?” Velvet continued, plunking something on his head. “A diamond tiara! Much better than that ratty old hat you used to wear, isn’t it? Oh honey, you should SEE yourself in a crown!” she said, and the V’s all burst into laughter.

Pentious felt Val’s fingers on his shoulders. They felt greasy somehow, even through gloves. He shuddered, and the moth chuckled. “Watch the show closely tonight. You’re going to be on that stage sooner rather than later. When you do, I’d better see some of that famous hypnotism. Enough to impress me.”

.

When a very unenthusiastic Angel finally dragged himself into work, everyone was buzzing with rumors. “Angel, Angel,” one girl said, grabbing his arm. “Who was that in your work-out video?” It was the same orange tabby cat demon who had first reported the video to Val, although Angel had no way of knowing that. She was also the girl who had started the nasty comment barrage against Pentious, angry with the idea that he might be taking away her tip time with Angel. She was, to put it literally, quite the catty demon.

“Why does it matter?” he asked coldly, pulling his arm away.

“We want to know who he or she is, and why they’re sitting at the boss’ table.”

Cold fingers gripped his heart. Ignoring the girls, he rushed to a place where he could see the crowd, and spotted Pentious seated with the V’s surrounding him. They were laughing, and his head was down. What the hell was Val up to? He assumed Val just wanted a new dancer, but the way they were acting... it was abnormal. Also, what in the nine circles was Pentious _wearing_?

His phone buzzed in his pocket again. It was his brother. “Hey, can you check Pent’s room? He’s not answering his texts or FiendBook messages. He seemed really upset about the fire and I’m worried about his mental state.”

“Sorry, bro, I’m at work,” he texted back. Again, not a lie. “Maybe he’s been up at the pool all day without his phone or computer? He loves to swim.” Also not a lie. He said maybe, not that knew or didn’t know where Pentious was. Still… no matter how carefully he chose his words, it was only a matter of time before someone noticed Pentious was missing.

.

He just wanted to go back to the hotel when he was done for the night, but one of Val’s messengers stopped him. “Boss wants you at the table. Now.”

“You called, Val?” he asked, trying not to sound like anything was off.

“Ah, yes. I thought I’d introduce you to my newest pupil. This is Xanthe. Xanthe, this is Angel Dust. If you’d like him to back up your first performance, he’s all yours.” His heart nearly stopped. Pentious had… Pentious had agreed? To become one of Val’s slaves?

“We’re taking some promotional photos. Why don’t you two kiss for us? Make it look sexy,” Velvet encouraged.

“He’s… he’s my brother’s boyfriend!”

Val’s eyes narrowed. “Very funny, Angel cakes. If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were saying no to us. You know this is only acting, right? I’m not actually asking you two to date. Although that would be good for sales.”

“Pentious, are you… are you okay with…?

“XANTHE,” Val corrected, his voice making Angel wince as though it had been a physical slap.

“I… it’s only acting, right? This is only theater. What’s good for the show,” Pentious… or was it really Xanthe… answered, nervously stroking his hood.

“Yeah. Yeah. What’s good for the act.” He grabbed Xanthe by the laces on the front of his dress. “So, let the EXPERT show you how it’s done.”

.

Pentious was curled up on his side in his darkened room with the new phone Velvet had given him, logged into all his new social media accounts. Despite there being only a few pictures Velvet had taken, there were thousands of likes and comments fawning over him and saying how they couldn’t wait to see him on stage. These were not the kind of dirty comments he got from the videos Cherri posted. They… they _loved_ him. They _wanted_ him. They wanted _to be_ him. They were so… so _jealous_ of him. He could feel their desire leaking through the electronic screen. It was the same jealousy he’d always felt when looking at Vox or Val’s accounts.

He switched over to view his old accounts, with their pathetic like and follower count. He didn’t know it, but Velvet had been interfering with his accounts, making sure none of Arackniss’ messages reached him. They didn’t want him to get the impression that anyone cared about him, after all.

After a minute or two, it hurt too much to think about the old accounts, so he switched back to his new account. The pain in his heart dulled immediately when he saw his likes continue to soar.

The photo with Angel Dust was especially drawing attention, with many jealous comments expressing they wished they could have been on one end of that kiss or the other. He felt slightly dirty about what he’d done with Angel, knowing that it would hurt Arackniss even if it was only for publicity… but it was what had to be done. When he was an Overlord, he’d more than be able to apologize for it by showering Arackniss in gold, right?

He heard a very faint sound as something hit the pillow, and realized he was crying. As he wiped his eyes, the door opened. A grinning Velvet entered, happy to see that he was holding his phone and looking upset. Perhaps he was feeling a little lonely or ignored. After all, she’d blocked everyone Pentious was friends with on his old account from his new account, and she knew he didn’t understand the interface enough to figure that out. She made a mental note to send a few ‘special’ messages to his old contacts, just to be safe. “No time to be mopey, snakey. Val wants to see ya, A-S-A-P.”

“This late?”

“We’re a 24/7 business,” she shrugged.

.

“I’m having a bit of a problem, Xanthe. You see, these two girls, they don’t want to do the scene the way I want it shot. I’m going to need you to work a little of your hypno-magic on them,” he said, escorting the snake onto a sound stage.

“You… want me to force them to do… something they don’t consent to doing?”

“Time for lesson one in being an Overlord. There’s no one too small to step on. Do you think saying no is the moral path? There’s one small problem with that. Just a tiny one,” he said, holding two fingers close together for emphasis. “I need this scene shot the way I want it. The girls are going to have to do it whether they want to or not. You could at least make sure they’d enjoy it.”

“What’s so interesting about that snake?” Vox huffed once Velvet had led the snake away again. He’d swallowed his misgivings and done as he was told, like a good little boy. “You already have a hypnotist. Me.”

“Oh, Voxy. He’s not JUST a hypnotist. He’s something more interesting.”

.

Returning to his room, he slithered over to the three-way mirror. One mirror reflected himself as Shiny Penny, and another as Sir Pentious. The final mirror showed him as he was currently, as Xanthe. Two losers and… potential. The potential to rule Hell. Val was right. It was time to let go. To show what he could really do. If someone got hurt… well, that someone wasn’t him. Why should he _care_? Being himself had gotten him nowhere in a hundred long years. But the Vs… being like them… it would take him anywhere. Couldn’t it?

He wiped his hand across two of the mirrors, erasing the images and leaving only Xanthe standing, staring back at him with cold eyes. “Goodbye, Sir Pentious,” he hissed. “Hello, Xanthe.” He cracked a small smile. He started to laugh. He couldn’t stop. He laughed and he laughed, arching his back as his voice rang against the walls of his room.


	4. Snake Charming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a very bad day in Hell.

“Something wrong, snakey?” Velvet asked, finding the snake in his room. It wasn’t like he could go anywhere else. “You don’t look happy despite all those likes just pouring down like raindrops.”

“I… was just thinking… that maybe…”

“Your boyfriend would message you?” Those words had his hood standing on edge. “Shame that he hasn’t.”

“You know about my... well, maybe he doesn’t know my new account yet. I would call him, but I didn’t have his number memorized since I always just relied on my contacts list.”

He didn’t know this either, but Val had distributed a photo to his bouncers and door guards. “Whatever happens, you are not to let this spider into the club. He’ll distract my new toy,” they had been ordered. 

“No time to think about that. We figured out what we’re going to do with you. See, we already have the top porn star. We don’t need that. But Hell’s top pop star? She’s getting a bit washed up. That’s where you come in. You’re gonna be a hit maker.”

“But… but I can’t sing!”

“No one in Hell pop can sing! Vox auto-tunes them all!” she laughed. “Can you at least read music?”

“Yes, of course! I can play the piano and the organ.”

“Great. Here’s your new hit. Val would appreciate it if you’d learn it by tonight.”

“TONIGHT!?”

“What else ya gonna do with your time, snakey? Val wants you to come up with your own routine. Something that will show him what you can _really_ do.”

“What I can do.” There was a long pause, and the snake smiled at her in a way that even she found creepy. “Provide me with a flexible mannequin for tonight. I’ll _show_ you what I can do.”

.

“Demons of this fine establishment!” the emcee roared, riling up the crowd. “I know we’ve seen some real great acts tonight, so I know you’re gonna LOVE the next one! Your favorite porn star is still coming, but first, please welcome the deadly golden beauty, Xanthe!”

His head was down, his eyes hidden in the shadow of his hood as he approached the end of the catwalk stage. A couple of stage grunts brought out a jointed mannequin, which caused Angel to raise an eyebrow. What were they going to do with that?

“I’ve seen your comments online. Some of you seem to be wondering, what’s so sssspecial about me? I’m just a sssssnake, aren’t I? Well, I’m sure you’ve all heard of a snake charmer. Tonight, I’m not yours to play with. You’re _mine_.” A beat of music started, and the snake’s head came up, hood extended. Hair fully out, the snake sang, but Angel knew it wasn’t his real voice. He was wearing a mic on his head, and the sound was being auto-tune filtered through Vox.

“The shit?” Angel asked from backstage. The raucous crowd in the standing room around the stage had gone still. Their eyes were unfocused. They were staring into space with delighted smiles on their face. Suddenly, they all raised their right arms, then their left arms.

Angel looked back towards Pentious… or Xanthe, as the case may be… and saw that he’d raised the mannequin’s arms. The leaned the mannequin back and all the guys on the floor leaned back. They were being moved in ways they wouldn’t have normally been able to move. It was as if the physical limitations had been removed from their bodies.

“You asked what was so special about that snake. Look. Every single one of those guys thinks he’s getting a personalized dance.”

“Hmph. I could do that, if I really wanted to.”

“Oh? Then look at the stage bouncers,” Val said to Vox.

Vox narrowed his eyes when he saw the bouncers on the floor were enthralled by the hypnotism dance. “… I personally put anti-hypnotism protections on those bouncers,” he said darkly. “The snake is…”

“Stronger than you could imagine,” he said. “But it’s been repressed. All we have to do is wake that power up again.”

“I’m presuming you have a plan for that?”

He grinned. “I can see it in the audience right now.”

.

As the performance finished, something large and white lunged out of the audience, managing to go over the hypnotized bouncers and landing with a heavy thud on the catwalk. Pentious, or Xanthe, recoiled back as Ghost straightened himself out.

“Penny,” he hissed. “I’ve been looking for you for so long. And now, I’ve got you.”

The black snake did as much backwards slithering as he could, shaken up. “Get away from me. Don’t touch me.”

Vox moved a hand to signal the other bouncers, but Valentino stopped him and shook his head.

“I’m never letting you get away from me again, bitch. You’re mine!” he hissed, using his three arms to grab Pentious’ two arms. The nearest bouncers, still entranced by the hypnotism, were unable to move to help him. He tried to call them to his rescue, but his mind was racing and he couldn’t concentrate. The other bouncers were aware of the plan, and intentionally weren’t moving in.

“You know what I’m going to do, whore? I’m going to strip you right here on stage, and then I’m going to fuck you while everyone watches. Let them know you’re my little bitch.” 

“S… S… STOP! JUST… STOP!” a frightened Pentious screamed.

“Here it comes,” Val said, snapping a barrier around himself, Vox, and Velvet. Everyone else in the audience, on the stage, in the club, froze. It was like they had become statues.

“... He hypno-froze the entire club?” Velvet asked. “Niiiiice.”

“The entire… how did you know that he’s so strong?”

“That’s for me to know. And, just for your information… his hypnotism is at least ten times stronger than yours.” He stood up. “Go on, Xanthe. Show us what you can do. Show us why you might be worthy of being an Overlord one day. Eviscerate his mind. Show us why you’re worthy of being called a mind weaver.”

“Shit, Val, what are you doing?” Velvet whispered. “He’s not really…?”

Moving almost as if in a trance himself, the snake raised one hand and pointed it at Ghost. “Forget,” he said. Just that one word and the other snake was doubled backwards in pain, screaming and thrashing, body twitching like he was having electric prods driven into his skin. Val hadn’t been hyperbolic when he’d ordered Xanthe to ‘eviscerate’ the mind of the white snake. There was no better word for what he was doing, ripping every memory out by its roots, one memory at a time. Or, perhaps you could view it as unravelling a knit sweater. There was a reason the mind weavers were called what they were. They could create memories as easily as they could unwind them. Fold one memories into completely no ones. Change entire personalities. A strong enough mind weaver, one who could potentially rewrite the memories of an Overlord? That was dangerous. 

When the other snake finally collapsed, unmoving, to the stage, the black snake turned back to face the crowd. “Clap for me,” he said, raising both his hands, and the blank-eyed audience did. A wall of unified clapping noises. He basked in the sound for a moment before he collapsed onto the stage himself, releasing everyone from their hypnotic state. Cries of confusion rippled through the club as the crowd suddenly regained consciousness, not understanding what had happened or why they were clapping. All they knew was that two snakes were collapsed on the stage, and that bouncers were rushing towards them.

“Get Xanthe back to his room,” Val ordered. “And as for that thing,” he said, referring to the still barely twitching Ghost. “I want it special delivered to someone. Priority shipping.”

Valentino grinned as he watched the guards load the unconscious snake onto a stretcher. “With that kind of power, I’ll never have to hear the word no again, will I? Everyone is going to love you… because you’re going to MAKE them love you.”

.

“It was like… like someone badly cut a film. Ghost was on stage, and I thought I was going to have to get involved, but then… boom. He and Pentious are both lying on the ground, and I’m clapping, but I don’t know why,” Angel explained to Cherri. He’d been left with a slight headache after the show as well. They were sitting out behind her apartment complex together.

Throughout the night he received several frantic texts from his brother, then from Charlie, and then even from Husk and Vaggie about how Pentious was missing from the hotel. They were going into full search mode.

He read them all from the back stoop of the club, smoking furiously as if the smoke could carry away his guilt. “Do I tell them? That I know where Pentious is?” Angel asked.

“I don’t think you can avoid it,” she answered. “Your brother…”

“Is gonna kill me.” It was unavoidable. He finally texted that he knew where Pentious was, and he’d tell them when he got back to the hotel.

.

Pandemonium broke out at the hotel. “Boss… bossman wouldn’t just… leave us, would he?” Egg Boi 23 asked with teary eyes. The other two remaining eggs, 3.14 and 69, were also both weepy.

“They’re right. He wouldn’t have just left without saying anything to me, either. They must have taken him by force,” Arackniss said, jumping up. “We’ve got to rescue him!”

“Does this look like someone who needs to be rescued?” Angel asked angrily, showing a picture from Xanthe’s new account. The snake was lying out across a white fur rug, belly up, stretched out and staring up at the camera.

The next picture was a close-up, with the snake’s tongue out. “TOXIC” had been written in a dripping blood red font across the image.

“He’s probably being forced to take those pictures!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Angel could see the look Alastor was giving him. He was doing his best to avoid letting it get to him. “He… come on, he always talked about how much he wanted to be an Overlord! He trashed a significant portion of the pentagram in a turf war with Cherri over it! He made fake pictures of himself hanging out with the Vs. The second they asked him to meet them, he’d follow like a puppy looking for affection.”

“I know you don’t understand this because you’ve never been able to make a relationship last for more than the length of an orgasm, but Pent wouldn’t just leave me! Even if he was going to join the Vs, he would have said something!”

“I know it hurts you to hear, but clearly, being an Overlord means more to him than you ever did!” Angel shot back.

Despite the size difference, Arackniss had Angel laid out on the floor with one upper cut to the jaw. He took a defensive posture, expecting his brother to fight back. Instead, his brother laughed and rubbed his injury. “Aw, Val’s gonna be upset that you damaged the goods. You want the truth, bro? I asked him which he wanted more: to be an Overlord or to be with you. You can see which one he picked.”

“Stop lying!”

“Angel _did_ ask Pentious if he wanted to go with the Overlords. Pentious said yes. That’s how he got out of my barrier,” Alastor cut in, giving Angel a sharp grin. “Oh yes, he willingly went with Vox, didn’t he, Angel dear? You look so surprised that I know. Did you really think these walls didn’t have ears?”

The combined look of confusion, fear, and hurt on his brother’s face cut straight through Angel’s chest like no fist and no bullet ever could. “Anthony? You…?”

“I was only asked... no, I was ordered, to give him the choice. If I hadn’t, it would be MY fur lining the rug that snake is lying on.”

“…Fuck you.”

“Mr. Arackniss…” Charlie started, reaching out. She hated to see the two spider brothers fighting.

“No, fuck him! And fuck you!” he said angrily, pointing in her face. “Fuck you, fuck this shitty hotel, and even fuck the Radio Demon,” he snapped, which earned him a raised eyebrow from Alastor. “Redemption?! What a fucking joke. If anything, you’ve gotten worse, Anthony,” he snarled, stomping for the door. “At least you used to have a spine.”

He stopped at the exit. “I’m going to ask Pent directly. I’m not accepting that it’s over until I hear it from him.”

“Niss, no! The other Overlords will squash you like a… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Angel fell back, holding his left upper arm, which Arackniss had just blown a hole in with his gun.

“Next shot won’t be a warning shot,” he said darkly, slamming the door after himself.


	5. Saving Private Snake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Husk is tired of being the sole voice of reason. 
> 
> AKA "I'd listen to Husk. He's the only one who makes any sense around this insane asylum!" -end Nightmare Before Christmas reference

“I’ve set your arm as best that I can, but you really should see a doctor. I was only a field medic,” Husk informed him.

“We’re demons. I’ve had worse and it will heal. Val won’t be happy about me being screwed up, though,” Angel said dully.

“Angel…”

“Arackniss was right. Redemption. What a joke. I broke up my family when I was alive, and here I am, doing it all over again in Hell. I haven’t changed one bit.”

“… That’s a lie.” Charlie and Angel both looked at Husk, who was wringing out the wet cloth in his hand so tightly that it was at its breaking point. “That’s a damn fucking lie and you know it. Because you know who has been here watching you this whole time? Me. And I don’t give a fuck about any of this cotton candy or rainbows nonsense. So, if I fucking tell you that you’re a better demon now than you were a year ago, you’re gonna fucking listen to me. A year ago, I didn’t give a shit about you. About any of you, or anything. But now, if you asked me to go to war with ya… I’d put on my helmet and ask for my orders.”

“Huuuusker, you do caaaare!” Angel wept, trying to jump into his arms. He stopped Angel with a strong arm.

“This doesn’t mean I want to fuck you. This just means that I haven’t got the fucks left to listen to bullshit, and if you think you haven’t changed, that’s bullshit.”

“… What do I do?”

“You go get your brother AND you get Pentious back.”

“I can’t! Val will…”

“Then you’re just going to have to be smarter than him, so he’ll never know you were involved, won’t you? And I just told you, cobwebs for brains, you don’t have to do it alone. You have me.”

“And us,” Charlie said, holding Vaggie’s hand.

“I suppose I can’t just… let my feud with Pentious end without resolution,” Baxter sighed.

“I’m here!” Niffty raised an arm.

“And your best gal-pal, of course!” Cherri volunteered. She’d rushed over when Charlie texted her about Angel’s injury.

They all looked over at Alastor, the only one in the group yet to speak. He shrugged. “I’m a little busy to play Saving Private Snake, but have a fun time, kids. Knock yourselves out.”

.

“Why won’t he answer any of my private messages?” Arackniss asked out loud, sitting in his car in traffic. “Maybe they’re just getting lost because he’s getting too many messages…”

The car behind him honked. “Green light, asshole!” they shouted. A moment later, they shrank back in their seat as their side mirror was shot clean off their car.

.

“What do you mean I can’t come into this club?!”

“You’re on the no-go list, buddy,” the bouncer said to the angry black spider. “Here’s the email address you can send complaints to,” he continued as he flicked a business card at the spider.

Go at fuck yourself dot com was written on the card.

He’d finally gotten a response to his messages. What he’d gotten was several incredibly nasty messages from Pentious’ old account, but he knew Pentious wasn’t sending them. Pentious could barely text in garbled half-speak. Whoever was sending these had excellent texting skills and could use hashtags correctly. If someone was in control of his account, they could be preventing Pentious from seeing his messages.

They were intentionally keeping him from contacting the snake. Well, they weren’t going to beat him. He'd be back. He just needed a plan first.

.

Pentious slowly awoke back in bed in ‘his’ room. There was an IV in his arm, and an oxygen/heart rate sensor on his hand. The room had been decorated with congratulatory and get-well flowers. He tried to sit up, but his head started to spin, forcing him back down. He rolled onto his side, bringing his tail up as close to his chest as he could. He wanted to be the smallest snake possible right then. 

What he’d done to Ghost had been horrible, and he knew it. Even someone as terrible as Ghost didn’t deserve to have their mind uprooted like dandelions being pulled out of cracks in a sidewalk. But then… did people really get what they deserved in Hell? He deserved to be an Overlord, but he wasn’t. Fair was not a word that got used in Hell.

He rolled around again, lying on his back. Velvet had gotten a large poster of the Toxic photo printed and framed, hung up in his room where his own face stared at him from the end of his bed. Toxic, he thought. I really am toxic. I used to just be venomous, but now I’m rotten. He’d promised himself so many times that he’d never use that power again, seen how much damage it could do... and yet, he just couldn’t keep his promises. Even ones made to himself.

.

“Hello, everyone,” Alastor said, interrupting their planning meeting.

“I thought you were too busy to help.”

“Oh, I’m not here to help. I just thought the mysterious package that arrived for me might have something to do with your conundrum!”

.

The residents of the hotel cautiously pried the box open, all armed and ready for the contents to attack. To their surprise, a bound white snake demon fell out. His eyes were huge, and he was shaking, on the brink of crying. “Please don’t hurt me!” he pleaded. “Where am I? What are you? What am I? Who am I? Help me. Oh God, please help me,” he sobbed.

“Is he acting?” Cherri asked.

“I don’t think he is,” Angel said. He had to re-explain what he’d already told Cherri about the jump-cut in Xanthe’s performance.

“Why didn’t you bring this up sooner?” Baxter demanded.

“How was I supposed to know Val was going to MAIL him to us?!”

“What’s wrong with him?” Charlie asked as the snake was curled up into a whimpering ball. This… this wasn’t the dangerous Ghost they had expected. This was a shell of a demon.

“Perhaps this note will shed light on our scaly situation,” Alastor observed, retrieving it from the box. “Dearest Radio Demon. I heard you were interested in rehabilitating sinners, so I took the liberty to send you a great trial case. A completely blank slate for you to work with, courtesy of Xanthe. Good luck with your little project,” he read.

“They’re mocking us,” Husk said. “They’re smart enough not to say anything that would result in your family getting involved, even making it look like they’re trying to help, but they’re clearly sending the message that they think we’re a joke. And probably not missing what they see as an opportunity to get under Al’s skin.”

“This isn’t bothering me one bit!” Alastor said, and he wasn’t lying. This wasn’t his problem.

“He’s been mind flayed. Or… mind drawn and quartered, if you will,” Baxter said, cutting through Husk and Alastor’s conversation. “Some really strong demons with hypnotic powers can do this. They can tear out memories, and I’m being literal with the word tear. It’s not surgical precision. It’s doing brain surgery with a hatchet.”

“Vox must have done this,” Angel said. “I’ve seen him turn dancers who disobey into mindless, drooling minions. I’m terrified he might do it to me some day, but I think Val likes watching my scared face more than he likes the idea of having me as a mindless slave.”

“No, I don’t think he did,” Alastor said. “I know his signature stink, and this doesn’t reek of his powers.”

“It has to have been Pentious. He and Vox are the only hypnotists we know of, and you said Ghost was on stage with Pentious when something weird happened, right? Almost like a time skip. There’s a possibility…” Husk said slowly, talking his way through it. “If he’s a mind weaver, he could have made sure no one would remember what he did.”

“… Pentious? You’re kidding us. Pentious is a noodle-brained dope who thinks he’s the greatest thing since before sliced bread. If he had that kind of power, he would have shown it off already.”

“Unless old man has been holding out on us,” Cherri said.

“The only way we’re going to get an answer is if we can get it directly from Pentious,” Husk grunted. “So, let’s finish this plan. It IS too bad you’re too busy to help, Al. What we’re up to will REALLY piss off Vox,” Husk shrugged. “Might teach him a lesson about trying to poke you, even.”

Alastor tilted his head. “Care to elaborate?” he asked.

.

“Come on, hurry, hurry,” Angel whispered, sneaking Husk and Baxter through the service door he was holding open. Alastor, Cherri, Vaggie, and Cherri were in disguise in the audience, waiting for their cues. Niffty had been left at the hotel to look after the confused and weepy Ghost.

Angel’s head moved rapidly back and forth, making sure no one saw them. “This is the only door that’s in a blind spot from Vox’s cameras. He thinks no one knows so he didn’t bother covering it, but I’ve seen his control panels. I can’t help you any further or the other dancers might start getting suspicious. I’ve got to get my own outfit and face on.”

Angel secretly wished he had as much faith in this plan as the princess did. “The only way we’re going to get Pentious out of the club is if we can grab him mid-performance,” Angel had informed the others earlier. “That’s the only time his guards are far enough away that we might have any window of opportunity.”

.

Arackniss searched around the entire club until he finally found the thing he needed: an open window. It was a small window, just barely big enough for him to squeeze through. But just barely was still enough. It hasn’t been open the previous night, but tonight, someone had been careless. Still, he knew he had to be careful. He knew the bouncers would be looking for him.

As he crawled along the wall, he spotted a rack of costumes. This could work, he thought.

.

Husk and Baxter were already up on the catwalks. “Will you hurry up?” Husk whispered.

“E… e… easy for a cat to say on the catwalks! I’m afraid of heights!”

“Who are you guys?” the lizard demon at the sound board said angrily, eyes narrowed.

“Your regular lighting technicians got food poisoning. We’re the replacement spotlight and followspot operators,” Husk confidently informed them. In reality, the technicians were unconscious and tied up in a closet.

“UGH, I hate last minute changes. Whatever. Just follow the written instructions and we’ll be fine. It’s your skin if you fuck it up, not mine,” the lizard said, turning away. That was okay with him. Husk had already spotted his target: the main lighting control box.

.

“Pent better appreciate the trouble I’m going through for him,” Arackniss grumbled. He felt VERY naked in a club danger’s outfit. Pink sequins, rhinestones, and feathers were not his design of choice. The feathers kept getting everywhere, including in his mouth. How could Anthony stand wearing this stuff? Or NOT wearing this stuff as the case might be. It covered what was required by Hell’s weird laws and not one bit else. He hoped with the excessively large blonde wig he’d snatched, no one would recognize that he didn’t belong there. Or would recognize him, period, disguised as a stripper. He’d never live it down. Of course, he could have gone without putting on the matching bikini top on, but any extra fabric was welcome.

He refocused his attention away from the breeze through his fur and onto his mission. He could do this. He just needed to get up onto the overhead catwalks and wait for the exact right moment.

.

It was midway through the snake’s performance when the ear-breakingly loud feedback screech that came through the microphones had the entire club grabbing their ears. That was everyone except for Vox, who was rapidly looking around in a combination of anger and confusion for the source of the signal block.

That’s Al’s cue, Husk thought. A quick karate chop to the back of the neck, and the main lighting lizard was down. “Bolt cutters, now,” he ordered Baxter.

Simultaneously, Cherri took the opportunity to launch a glitter and smoke bomb at the three V’s while they were confused, but not yet on edge enough to have taken defensive measures. The glitter bomb exploded into their faces right as the lights cut out, leaving the club illuminated by only the light of cell phone screens and Vox’s face. Panic set in, and a screaming rush for the doors began.

“Get… get the emergency lights on!” Vox shouted angrily, coughing through the smoke and glitter dust. “Get the emergency lights on, you half-dicked idiots!”

Arackniss HAD been waiting for his opportunity to jump down on the stage and confront Pentious with everyone watching. Unaware that Ghost was at the hotel, he assumed this was an assault from Ghost. “Pent! Pent, look out, I’m coming!” he shouted, and made a blind leap towards where he guessed the snake was.

Vaggie and Cherri flipped the two closest bodyguards, sending them flying. The group had armed themselves with night-vision spells before the raid started. “Hurry, get up on the stage!” Vaggie said, pulling Charlie up.

“What… what’s going on? Pr… princess?!” Xanthe asked in shock, able to see who was running towards him because of his own more than sufficient night vision.

She grabbed onto his arms. “I’ve got him!” she said. “Grab onto me!” Vaggie and Cherri did as told. Husk glided down from above, carrying Baxter. Unfortunately, Arackniss’ flying leap landed him directly on Husk’s back.

The plan was supposed to end with Husk and Baxter reaching the rest of the group and Alastor teleporting them to safety with the darkness of the club covering their escape. Instead, when Husk hit the stage, Arackniss landed on top of him and Baxter went flying off into the audience. Unaware that it was NOT Baxter who landed on the stage with Husk, Alastor initiated the teleportation portal.

The emergency lights blasted on a mere second later. “WHERE IS HE?!” a rainbow glitter-covered Valentino snarled. Vox was trying to shake the glitter off. Velvet looked… okay with the situation. Slowly, a shiny banner reading ‘RAAAAAAAAAAAT’ floated down to the ground. “Trace the portal! NOW!” he screamed, stomping on it.

“This is never coming out of my clothes, is it?” Vox asked, still shaking his hands.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Baxter whispered, crawling through confused patrons’ legs.

“We can’t, sir, it’s completely been vacated,” one of the guards whimpered.

“That sound distortion,” Vox snapped. “It had to have been the Radio Demon! He could make an untraceable teleportation portal as well.”

“… So, the Radio Demon wants my new toy. Or perhaps he thinks he’s being cute in response to our little present. Well, if it’s a fight he wants, it’s a fight he’ll get.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, many of you wanted to see Val get punched in the nuts... but I think being covered in glitter is a better punishment. Bruises heal but he's gonna be finding random bits of glitter everywhere for the rest of his afterlife.


	6. The Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a successful rescue mission, hasn't it? But something... or someone... is missing.

The group landed in a coughing heap on the floor of the hotel. “Ni… Niss?” Xanthe asked. The spider had lost his wig in the crash-landing but was still wearing his stripper outfit. The snake had to cover his mouth to muffle his snickers. “What are you wearing? Never mind that, I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t. They wouldn’t let me.”

“I figured,” he coughed as the snake helped him stand up. A moment later, he was getting the biggest possible coiled snake-hug.

“… You must really love me if you were willing to dress up like that for me,” he said, giving his spider a big cheek-smooch.

“Yay, we did it! Rescue mission accomplished!” Charlie cheered.

“… Not quite. We picked up an extra demon, and we’re missing Baxter,” Vaggie pointed out.

“Oh no!”

“Alastor is still at the club because he wanted to see Vox’s reaction, but he can handle himself. And Baxter looks like an ordinary demon. He can probably just walk right out without anyone suspecting anything, if he doesn’t freak out,” Vaggie reasoned. “Which unfortunately, he probably will.”

“R.. rescue? You think you rescued me?!” Xanthe asked, sounding hurt. “The… the three Vs were teaching me how to be an Overlord. How to be a star!”

“… Are you telling me Angel told the truth? That… that you’d rather be an Overlord than be with me?” Arackniss asked in a pained voice.

“What? No, no! We… I was going to be an Overlord, but you were going to be with me. We were going to be happy, and rich, and loved! Together!”

“Do you really think the Vs would have allowed that? Speaking of which, we need to know: did you make a deal with them?” Vaggie asked.

“With formal handshakes and contract terms? No,” Xanthe shook his head. “I think they thought they could avoid having to commit to giving me anything by not making a proper deal. Or they weren’t certain if they wanted to make one yet. I’m not sure.”

“They never make deals until they’re certain a demon is at its most vulnerable so they can get the best offer. They must not have thought they had you in that position yet,” Vaggie reasoned. “You’re surprisingly good at avoiding making unpleasant deals.”

“As much as I hate to contribute to stereotypes against snakes, slipping out of things is one of my specialties. Regardless… the only things they gave me are this outfit and a phone.”

“A phone?! Shit, where it is, they could track…”

“Calm down; it’s still at the club! I didn’t have it on me when I performed. I can’t carry anything in this stupid dress.”

“Are you seriously telling me that we went through all this trouble to save you, and you want to go back?” Husk groaned.

“I didn’t ask to be so-called saved! I don’t even know why you bothered. I’m sure most of you will be glad to see the back side of me. Oh, stop acting like you care. I KNOW you intentionally left me out of your little concert trip.”

“Is that what this is all about?” Cherri asked. “You weren’t invited to a concert??”

“A concert Angel knew I wanted to go to!”

“Angel didn’t... Angel didn’t arrange for us to go to the concert. I did,” Vaggie cut in. “I had the tickets lined up before it was officially announced to the public through their fan club, and that was before you moved into the hotel. I never said anything to you because I didn’t know you had any interest in modern music. It wasn’t... it wasn’t intentional. As for Angel, he maybe a spider, but he has the attention span of a mayfly. I bet he didn’t even remember you’d said anything about it, or he would have said something to me. None of us were trying to hurt you.”

“Whether you meant to or not, you don’t get to decide whether you did. Fine. I… I’m grateful to you for reuniting me with Niss, and this will give me a chance to pack up my things, but I do want to go back.” He squeezed the spider’s hand reassuringly as he said this. “We all know I don’t belong here. I’m going to be famous, and I’m going to make us both happy.”

“Hey, hey, everyone stop!” Husk suddenly ordered, hands out. “Do you smell something burning?”

.

They found the source of the smell in the dining area. Husk and Vaggie both immediately grabbed fire extinguishers and foamed the stinking mess.

“What is that smelly thing?” Xanthe asked, covering his face. He could not only smell but taste with his tongue, and he didn’t want to accidentally smell-taste THAT.

“… It used to be Ghost,” Husk said darkly, once he lifted part of the charred lump and looked under it.

“Wh… WHAT?!” Xanthe shrieked. He didn’t know that Ghost had been sent to the hotel.

“He’d been diced up. Not just ordinary diced up either; an angelic weapon did this. And… Niffty! Oh fuck, Niffty! Where is she?!”

The group broke into pairs, frantically searching the hotel and calling out for her. They found nothing. “Shit, shit, shit!!!” Husk swore, slamming his fists into the wall hard enough to leave a mark.

“What… what kind of bastard would dare to hurt Miss Nifty?” even Xanthe demanded angrily, hissing.

“Hang on a second,” Arackniss added. “Did you search Ghost when he arrived at the hotel? I’m trying to figure out if he was carrying the weapon and it was taken, or if someone else had it.”

“It wasn’t necessary to search him. He was shipped to us… well, naked.”

“Are you certain, though? Snakes have… um… hidey holes,” he said.

“It’s called a cloaca, dear,” Xanthe corrected. “And Ghost wouldn’t have been able to hide it on his body without getting cut up unless he also made a pocket dimension somewhere on this body. I doubt he did, as it’s quite difficult to do. Unless he also had help, like I did.”

“That likely means Ghost didn’t have the angelic weapon. Ghost didn’t kill the guards at Pent’s house... or if he did, he passed the weapon off to someone else afterwards. It must be more than a coincidence that we’ve now had multiple killings with an angelic weapon followed by fires. Someone else is absolutely involved in this.”

“This is making my head spin,” Xanthe said, sinking down into his coils.

“Mine too,” Arackniss agreed. “Whoever it is didn’t exactly leave a calling card.”

“It’s someone who has a beef against Alastor,” Baxter said, dragging himself inside. “Thanks for leaving me behind to take a taxi home, by the way.”

“How are you certain this is about Al?”

“Check the front of the hotel,” Baxter replied.

The group ran to the outside. “Got your friend,” had been spray-painted across the front of the hotel. “Better find her before the cleanse or you’ll never find her.”

“… Alastor is going to freak the shit out, and it is not going to be pretty,” Husk said, shaking his head. “You won’t be able to tell from looking at him, but the collateral damage he’s going to cause will prove it. I am not looking forward to this. Hmph. They didn’t sign their little message. That means they _want_ to confuse us, or the identity will be obvious to Alastor when he gets here.”

“If the goal is to confuse us, they’ve done a great job of that,” Arackniss snorted, shaking his head.

“As much as I want to go back to my Overlord training, I can’t go back until we find Miss Niffty,” Xanthe said. She and Charlie were the only ones who had truly treated him like a friend. “I will rip his mind to shreds!”

“You’ll have to get in line behind Al and myself,” Husk said, punching his fist. “Speaking of Al, what the heck is taking him so long? We need him right now,” Husk said, pulling out his phone. Where did he keep it? That’s Husk’s secret. “I’ll text him and tell him to get his skinny ass back. I suggest we get inside before he arrives. It’s likely to start storming soon.”

.

Alastor looked perfectly calm, like he was taking everything with his usual cold rationality, but the raging thunderstorm that had sprung up the minute he’d seen the message said otherwise. “You have no idea who it would be?” Husk said, frowning.

“I have many enemies… but of them, those who would be foolish enough to mess with me this way? _Few_ ,” he said with emphasis.

“What we know is that whoever did this had to be watching the hotel or has someone on the inside. They were able to pick the one night Niffty was basically alone, as Ghost was in no mental state to help her. If anything, she probably tried to protect him and it hindered her.”

“I wonder if the fire at Pent’s place was supposed to lure all of us out of the hotel as well. It’s rare that of the Husk-Alastor-Niffty triad, at least two of them aren’t in the hotel at the same time, and it’s especially rare that everyone leaves at once,” Arackniss reasoned. He’d had to borrow an outfit from Baxter, which didn’t quite fit, but was better than being dressed as a stripper. “I can’t believe this whole thing was orchestrated, though, unless someone specifically prodded the three Vs to go after Pent with the _intent_ that we’d launch a rescue after we failed to respond to the fire like they wanted.”

“The Vs wanted to meet me after seeing that work out video Cherri posted. So, unless Cherri is in on this…”

“Fuck no!” she said emphatically. “I blocked Valentino and Vox after getting one too many creepy messages about joining the club from them. They could be following me on a sock account, but I know they didn’t see it from their own main accounts. Although… I don’t think I ever blocked Velvet, so that’s possible.”

“Speaking of Val, he’s on the warpath,” Angel said, finally showing up. He was barely keeping himself upright by clinging to the wall. Arackniss and Cherri ran to help him. They had to standing one on each side, steadying him, to get him in a chair. Now both of his eyes were turning black around the rims, and his messed-up arm had really been worked over again.

“Angel… shit, I told you, you should have teleported out of there with us!” Cherri said, helping him stay upright.

“Hey, at least this way I could keep a shred of plausible deniability. If Val knew I was in on this for sure, the next time he got his hands on me, I’d have been mailed back to the hotel one bone at a time. Speaking of which, he only let me go tonight so I could bring you a message. He wants his snake toy back, and for every day he doesn’t get it, I’m going to pay for it. Unfortunately for our little plan, having Al fuck up the audio wasn’t exactly subtle. He knows the hotel was in on it.”

If there was a face of pure rage, it was the face Arackniss was making. “That son of a…” Never mind that he was the one who initially put that hole in Angel’s arm and the bruise on his jaw.

“Calm down, Niss! I’ll go back! I want to learn to become an Overlord, after all. But I won’t let them walk on me, and I won’t leave you. I promise you that. If they make my training contingent on leaving you then… then… then they can kiss my scaly ass.”

“You do know that sounds silly rather than threatening coming out of you, don’t you, noodle?” Arackniss asked, his face finally relaxing, the contortions of rage leaving it.

“As cute as you two fuckers are, this doesn’t get us any closer to finding Niffty,” Husk pointed out. “I don’t get it. Whoever did this clearly wants Alastor to know he’s the target. So why not just leave a name?”

They heard a soft thumping sound behind them, and all turned around with weapons drawn. To their surprise, they saw Pentious’ hat at the bottom of the stairs, having clearly dragged itself down there by its brim. “Hat!” Xanthe said happily, retrieving it. “I’m so sorry, did you miss me that much?”

Hat waved its brim wildly. “What’s wrong with your hat?” Vaggie asked. “Is he just that happy to see you?”

“No. He… he KNOWS something!”

“Fuck, the one who can’t talk, write, or use sign language knows something.”

“It’s not entirely true that he can’t communicate. Hat knows Morse code.”

“He… then quick, find out what he knows.”

Xanthe intently watched Hat blinking. “My Morse is a bit rusty, but if I’m getting this correctly, he says window, watching, see, Niffty, two, face, drama… Dramatica! The only one who meets that criteria is Lord Dramatica! Hat must have seen him vandalizing the hotel building out the window. He would have been able to see that spot from the mannequin head where he rests when he’s not with me.”

“Lord who?” Vaggie asked.

“Dramatica was the theater demon, way back before Alastor tore everything up and the three Vs basically took over what would have been his job,” Xanthe explained. “I met him a few times. He always made my scales crawl. He was very… handsy, in ways I didn’t enjoy being touched. He’s a literally two-faced son of a bitch. I can’t tell if he’s supposed to be a human or a bird or a WHAT. He still has… some power as the theater Overlord, but he’s significantly weakened from the old days.”

“Sounds like he’d have a reason to be pissed at Al,” Husk noted.

“To be pissed at Alastor AND at the three Vs,” Xanthe pointed out. “Who he has now set at odds against one another. Well, slightly more than they were at odds previously. I know Vox as well as Alastor have given him a slap down in recent memory.” Xanthe paused, eyes getting huge. “Wait. Valentino knew I was Shiny Penny. Dramatica likely would have known that as well, and he would have known my hypnotism powers were stronger than I let on. Specifically, he would have known that I previously used them to… make shooting porn easier for the girls… and that’s exactly the first thing Valentino asked me to do to prove my powers. It seems likely he’s been feeding information to Valentino for the purposes of this plot.”

Not only was he certain Dramatica knew about his role as the Professor’s in-house hypnotist, the Professor had specifically invited Dramatica over to show off the snake’s powers. They’d caught someone trying to smuggle plans for their specialized cameras out of the studio. Suspecting he might be working for Dramatica, the Professor had talked the reluctant snake into letting Dramatica watch as he unwound the poor bastard’s brain in order to send a message.

“Damn it. We’re dealing with a smart fucker. I hate wise guys,” Husk grunted.

“He might even be trying to seek revenge against me, to some degree. He thought that I and the Professor were against him, and he might still be under that impression. That we let him fall, even though we ourselves were also taken down during Alastor’s uprising.”

“You said you never saw the Professor again after the fall. Is it possible he’s also in on this?” Angel asked.

“I… couldn’t speculate. He was a very smart man. If he is, Hat didn’t indicate he saw him.”

“Where do you think he would be hiding out?”

“He was, and to some degree still is, the theater demon. Not cinema, theater. I’d try checking the local theaters first,” Xanthe said.

“Great. Here’s the split. Cherri and I will take the north point of the pentagram. Alastor and Husk will take the west point, and we’ll move in opposite directions until we meet back up to search the center. Pentious or Xanthe, whoever you are now, you and Arackniss reach out to the Vs and explain what’s going on. Out of all of us, they’re most likely to listen to you right now. See if you can get them involved. They’re probably going to be pissed when they find out they’re also being played. I suspect Vox doesn’t know Val is talking to Dramatica, given what Xanthe told us about their history. If you can’t get them to a truce with us, sit tight in the hotel. If you can, contact us so we can further coordinate search zones,” Vaggie ordered.

“What do I do?” Charlie asked.

“You stay here at the hotel with Angel and Baxter and serve as our communication center,” Vaggie continued. “We’re the ones who can handle a fight if someone brings it to us, so we’re the ones who will do the actual searching. If anyone finds Dramatica, though, it’d be preferable to get everyone there to handle it rather than rushing in by themselves.” 

“I can come up with a map of all the theaters, functioning or abandoned, and you can feed the information to me as you search them,” Baxter volunteered.

“If you can’t get to all the theaters before they close, I’ll see if I can use my contacts to get the theater owners back to unlock the buildings for you,” Charlie said, knowing that even if the people of Hell tended to think of her as a joke, a request made that appeared to be formally made from the royal family was harder to laugh at.

“Now that I think about it, even if we calm the Vs down and get them on board, Niss and Xanthe should stay here regardless,” Angel cut in. “We don’t want a repeat performance of attack on the hotel while all our physically fit fighters are out, and we know this guy is strong enough to take down Niffty. That couldn’t have been easy. I’m in no shape to hold off a guy who can do that.”

“Good point,” Vaggie agreed. She couldn’t believe she and Angel were on the same page for once. “It’s going to be a rough night, but this can’t wait.”


	7. Traitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone in this hotel can't be trusted.

“I was able to confirm it. Someone matching Dramatica’s description WAS providing information about me to Valentino. It wasn’t until he saw me in the video that he _believed_ that Shiny Penny and Sir Pentious were the same demon,” the snake said, getting off Angel’s phone. He didn’t have the Vs direct numbers, so he’d used Angel’s to place the call. “They are indeed furious that he’s been playing them as well.”

“What about you returning to working for them?” Arackniss asked nervously.

“We… said we’d talk about it later, but we’re likely to come to an agreement like they have with Angel, where I’m free to live at the hotel outside of work. Or… or somewhere else, seeing as how Ghost is no longer a threat… but… don’t worry! I won’t let them enslave me to the same degree. I’m not that stupid.”

“I’m right fucking here and can hear you saying that,” Angel snapped.

“I thought you already knew I thought you were stupid, sorry,” the snake said with a grin.

“Okay, can we clarify one thing while we’re at it: Who are you? Penny? Pentious? Xanthe?”

“… If I’m dressed as Xanthe, then I expect you to address me as Xanthe. Xanthe and Penny are just stage personalities. Underneath it all, I’m still Sir Pentious. I guess I am glad you got me out of there before I forgot that.”

“My precious cinnamon roll of a doof noodle,” Arackniss said.

“Husk is right, you two are too cute. Gag me with a spoon. So… what exactly can you do? I’ve never heard of a mind weaver,” Angel asked.

“Anything I want. I can erase memories, create memories, change memories… even pull individual memories out and view them myself. I can even take a memory from one demon and copy it into another. I could lock you inside your mind in a pain-driven coma. I could turn all your friends into enemies in your thoughts.” 

“I can see why Val wants you under his boot. Heck, though, if you’ve got that kind of power, why fuck around with the machines?”

“Val asked me the same thing. I don’t…” he paused. “I don’t enjoy scrambling other demon’s brains. I’ve seen the after-effects of what I do. I don’t just break minds, I shatter them. My machines are my _pride_ , my genius. This power is just something I was cursed with. But isn’t this just silly of me? Demons with morals aren’t fit to be Overlords.”

“Then don’t be an Overlord,” Arackniss added. “Or Penny, or Pennae, or Xanthe, or any of them. Just be Pentious. Just be you.”

“But… no one cares about Pentious.”

“I do.”

“Xanthe, Pentious, regardless of you are: you’re going to have to be really careful with Val. He’ll absolutely put that power of yours to use in ways you won’t like. But couldn’t a power like that also be used for good? I mean, you could take away awful memories just like that,” Angel cut in to ask. He had some memories he’d certainly be happy to be rid of.

“It’s not that easy. Memories are all linked. Imagine I removed your memory of your 15th birthday. Sometime later, you’re trying to remember all your birthdays. Or someone who was there brings it up. Hitting the hole I left can cause some shall we say seriously unpleasant side effects. It can even change your personality. As for the Vs… I’ll… I’ll be careful, but I will also worry about that later. We have to save Miss Nifty and punch Dramatica in both of his ugly faces.”

“This Dramatica guy can’t run forever. He’s got a four Overlords and a supposed Overlord-in-training after him, as well as the princess of Hell and her girlfriend. He’s fucked,” Baxter said confidently.

“The question is what he might do to Niffty,” Angel frowned. “Something else is bothering me. It’s been made so obvious that this Dramatica guy is behind it all. Did he really think we wouldn’t be able to piece it together? Because he had to know what the result would be if we did figure it out.”

“If Hat hadn’t seen him outside the hotel, we’d still be scratching our heads,” Pentious pointed out.

“And that’s even more suspicious. It almost feels like… like he WANTED Hat to see him.”

“If that’s the case, why not just sign his name? How could he have known Hat would be there and that Hat would be able to see him?”

“I don’t know, but my spidey-senses tell me something’s off,” Angel informed them. “We’re missing something.”

“… Bugs,” Arackniss said suddenly, interrupting Pentious and Angel’s heated conversation. “The way someone would know all this is if the hotel is bugged.”

.

“Found one,” Arackniss said angrily. He was the one who had the best idea what he was looking for. He’d found in in Pentious’ old room, the one he had before he moved to his previous room. He texted the photo over to Angel and Pentious, and immediately got a response from Pentious on his old phone that he’d found one under the basket where the Egg Bois slept, now that he knew what he was looking for. Within an hour, they had at least six. And that was only searching their own spaces.

“How? These aren’t walking bugs,” Arackniss said. “That means someone had to get inside the hotel and place them. Someone had to get inside your ROOMS to place them.

“I don’t usually lock my room, even when I’m out of the hotel,” Angel pointed out. Pentious nodded in agreement. “I mean, I felt safe. Like I could trust everyone here. Apparently, I was wrong.”

“Do you… do you think it’s possible that Niffty isn’t _missing_?” Arackniss continued. “She had access to every room. If I remember correctly, she was the one who let Roachbert into the car so he could give the information about the bad shortcut. She…”

“NO!” both said emphatically, shaking their heads. “Niffty would never!”

“Then… then who? I think we need to keep an open mind that maybe her relationship with the Radio Demon isn’t as sunshine and roses as it appeared.”

“If she is involved, then the others looking for her need to know. But if she isn’t and we even suggest it, they will be furious at us forever,” Angel pointed out. “I don’t know what to do. In the meantime, I’m gonna ask Vox about these bugs. He might be able to reverse trace them for me.”

.

“Vox confirmed it for me. These are IP bugs, meaning they have a fixed wireless IP address. All anyone would have to do to listen in on them was know the address and be close enough to connect,” Angel informed Pentious and Arackniss. “That also means they use wifi instead of radio waves, so Al wouldn’t pick up on them, and that we can’t back track them since anyone with the IP address could have connected.”

“I don’t know if we can tell the group at command central because we don’t know if one of them is involved,” Arackniss said. “I’m also not ruling out that Vaggie set them up to keep tabs on everyone and someone else accidentally got access to them.”

“I’m personally not ruling out that Baxter is involved,” Pentious huffed.

“Let’s not accuse _anyone_ without more information. That’s the last thing we need right now.”

Pentious’ hood suddenly stood up completely on end. “Pent? What’s wrong?” he asked.

“It just occurred to me. This hotel has a massive, unused basement. I had to go down there to fix the elevators and I could tell by my scale marks in the dust that I was the only one to go down there in years. I noticed a cellar-door like door that must have been an old service door. If that were opened, it would provide an access point. And the basement of the hotel…”

“Would be close enough to listen in on the IP bugs.”

.

The only tracks leading down into the basement were clearly the treads of Pentious’ tail and some small prints within the treads, but that didn’t mean anything.

Arackniss whispered, “Pent and I are going down.”

“What? No, wait for Alastor.” You could tell he was upset, as he didn’t even think to make a crude joke. They’d already notified Alastor and Husk to return to the hotel in case they found anything.

“We can’t. Opening the basement door might have been enough to cue him to flee. We have to go now. I’ll turn him into Swiss cheese before he can get near us.”

The stairs creaked eerily under their weight, Pentious cautiously following Arackniss. Arackniss had his guns out and Pentious was using his manifest chains to create a circle around them that would give them advance alert if anyone moved towards them. Despite not wanting him to, Angel also followed.

“There’s the cellar doors,” Pentious whispered. “They were chained when I was last down here. The chain is gone now. But… how did they get in to cut the chain? There are no tracks.”

“There are your tracks and your Egg Bois tracks,” Angel pointed out.

“They helped me repair the elevators. Might I also point out Fat Nuggets’ tracks, since he came down here to see what we were doing? But you’re not seriously thinking that we would… Wait, I just remembered. Oh, oh no! Miss Niffty also came down here while I was working on the elevators to bring me lunch. Some of those small tracks are hers. You don’t think… She wouldn’t…”

“Sssssh!” Arackniss hissed before he swore softly. “Okay, pal,” he called, his voice echoing through the basement. “We know you’re down here. If you throw down your angelic weapon and come out with your hands up, maybe we can talk the Radio Demon out of turning your intestines into sausage links. We’re blocking your exits, so why don’t you just give up?”

The went quiet when they heard thumps on the stair behind them and nearly had a heart attack before they realized it was Alastor and Husk coming to join them. “You sure he’s down here?” Husk asked in a huffed whisper.

“We know from the missing door chain it’s a big possibility that he is. Only question is, is he still down here?” Arackniss whispered back. “This place is a dark maze of old crap.”

“Al?”

“Trying to get a picture of it now,” he answered. He was using something like radar or echo location to ping around the basement, trying to get a mental picture of where anyone could be hiding. “Too much junk, I can’t get a straight signal.”

They found obvious evidence that someone had been living in their basement, although that individual did not appear to be there any longer. “Damn it, it looks like we just missed him again,” Husk grunted. “He must have been hiding out in the basement waiting for his chance to move in.”

“Yeah, but he left behind a great way to find him. Get some hell hounds in here to track the smell on those mattresses,” Arackniss suggested.

The track lead to an abandoned factory in the east pentagram, surprisingly close to where Pentious’ house had been. Thinking they finally had the answer, the group burst in, weapons fully ready… only to find a terrified imp huddling in a corner. He immediately confessed that he’d been hired to live in the hotel basement and monitor the bugs. He was completely honest with that, sobbing the words out in terror when faced with the entire armed group.

He claimed that he’d been paid in cash through stashed envelopes and never had direct contact with whoever was paying him. The way he kept claiming that even after Husk, Arackniss, and Angel had all had a turn interrogating him suggested he wasn’t lying. The only reason they didn’t allow Alastor to do an interrogation was they were certain he wouldn’t survive it, and this imp was now their best link to finding Niffty.

.

“We need to lay everything out, even if it’s ugly,” Arackniss said when they’d all rejoined at command center, none the wiser to Niffty’s location. “Fact is, not one of you is above suspicion. Any one of you could have told this Dramatica guy that you were all going to be out of the hotel that night except Niffty and Ghost. He also could have found out from the bugs, but someone planted them in the hotel first, right??” Arackniss sighed. “That’s why Pent and I thought to look in the basement in the first place. It would have been an ideal place to monitor the bugs.”

“And why aren’t you two suspicious too then?” Cherri demanded. “Maybe Pentious intentionally disappeared from the hotel like that knowing we’d try to rescue him. Maybe you two were listening in on the bugs. I mean, you two are the ones who quote-unquote found the bugs. What if you knew they were there to find? Let’s really lay out it out. We know Pentious hates our guts and wants to be an Overlord. Why wouldn’t he strike out at Alastor?? He could easily have cut that chain since he was the only one who we know for sure was in the basement and now he’s trying to deflect suspicion.”

“I hate you? I HATE YOU?? Oh, that’s funny, MISSY. I’m not the one who has been intentionally leaving me out of things and then rubbing it in my face! In fact, you and Angel were the ones responsible for that video of me that Valentino happened to ‘accidentally’ see. Angel is the one who ‘invited’ me to go with the Overlords. Isn’t that suspicious?!”

“Pent, I know you didn’t want me to bring this up, but we HAVE to. You see, Pent wasn’t the only one in the basement, and that leads to… There’s a chance Niffty was in on her own kidnapping. She had access to every room to plant bugs. She was the one who let Roachbert in the car to mislead your travel plans. She was in the hotel basement with Pentious while he was working on the elevators.”

“How fucking dare you?!” Husk demanded, standing up, reading to pummel Arackniss in the face for even suggesting it.

“I’m putting all options on the table, not saying they’re true! Funny how you are getting so defensive over this, and we know you and Alastor have had a less than perfect history together. Maybe you want to get back at Alastor. Maybe Niffty is in on it with you.”

“You little fucker…”

“If we’re going to accuse everyone, then maybe Vaggie did it,” Baxter suddenly spoke up.

“What?” she said angrily.

“Maybe this is a distraction from the fact that we’re coming up on one year of the hotel being in operation, and not one sinner has gotten into Heaven yet. Sure would look embarrassing to the princess if everyone were focused on that, but instead, they’re focused on our missing Niffty. That date was even referenced in the spray paint message.”

“Are you honestly suggesting I would stage the kidnapping of a friend just for the reputation of the hotel!?”

“Yes, I am, because you absolutely would! Actually, now that I think about it, this kind of dramatic thing sure reminds me of a certain Radio Demon’s style as well. Maybe he’s worried about his plaything getting shut down before he’s done having fun with it.”

“Say… that… again?” Alastor asked darkly, causing Baxter to retreat.

“You were the one who found the message referencing that date. Are you sure you don’t know something, Baxter?” Angel demanded. “How do we know you making sure we saw the message wasn’t part of the plan?

“We can’t rule out the Vs being involved,” Pentious added. “I’ve only known Val for a few days, but he expressed not liking Angel being at the hotel to me during that time, for no apparent reason. Why would he just tell me that unless it was a message?”

“Or maybe he didn’t tell you that, and you’re making it up to take suspicion off yourself,” Cherri suggested.

“Well you… you can’t also forget Vox and Alastor are constantly at each other’s throats, can you?”

“Could we… could we… could we just STOP?” Charlie cried, and they realized tears were flowing freely out of her eyes. “I don’t want everyone to suspect everyone else. I don’t want us all to fight.”

There was a long period of awkward silence. Vaggie finally wrapped her arms around Charlie and pressed the princess’ face into her chest, holding her as she quietly wept.

“… I think the more we talk, unfortunately, the more apparent it becomes that someone in this hotel can’t be trusted,” Alastor finally spoke up. “The only thing we don’t know is who the traitor is.”

The group all looked at one another, feeling both guilt and suspicion simultaneously.

“All we can do now is rest up again for the night and regroup in the morning. Maybe after some sleep we won’t be at each other’s throats,” Vaggie said softly, “It’s going to be VERY hard to sleep not knowing where Niffty is, but at the same time we can’t bring the fight to this Dramatica guy or even be efficient searchers on two days or more of no sleep. We need to be rested enough to handle whatever he throws at us.”

Knowing she was right, but still hating it, the group went their separate ways. Arackniss went to Pentious’ room. Cherri agreed to crash on the floor of Angel’s room. Vaggie and Charlie retreated to their room. Husk, Alastor, and Baxter each did their own thing.

.

The traitor was the only one who slept well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know who the traitor is. Do you?


	8. The Hunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is hunting who?

“Maybe we should change up the groups today,” Vaggie suggested. Everyone was still tense from the previous night’s accusations. “Charlie and Baxter should still stay in control center, but Cherri should stay with them. I can go with Alastor. Husk and Arackniss can go the other way from us. We’ll have to try theater-associated places like costume shops, since searching actual theaters didn’t find anything. Angel and Pentious, you two know the theater community better than the rest of us. See if you can reach out to them and find anyone who knows anything. You can do that from the hotel so that if anything happens here, we’ve got Cherri and Pentious covering the command center.”

“I could try contacting the various theater guilds and see if they can distribute information to their members,” Pentious suggested.

“And I know the online communities backwards and forwards, I’ll do some deep digging,” Angel agreed. “Now that I think about it… Xanthe and I are both stars, right? What if we post a video asking for information?”

“That could be risky. Dramatica might make a rash move if he feels like he’s being closed in on,” Baxter replied.

“He could feel that way just with me searching online. The more demon eyes we’ve got on the situation, the faster we find her, right? The faster we find her, the more likely we find her safe. We need to make this video go viral.”

.

“Video is posted,” Cherri said, looking up for her phone. “We’re probably going to get a bunch of troll responses to sift through, unfortunately.”

“All we need is one real response,” Angel replied. They’d hidden his black eyes with dark sunglasses and had Xanthe stand where his body would obscure Angel’s busted arm. “…We should probably get back to our individual assignments.”

“Yeah… yeah, we should,” Cherri agreed, turning away. The silence was crushing.

.

It was getting late into the afternoon, moving to evening, and still nothing. “Pentious, you actually knew this guy,” Angel spoke up. The video had gotten a lot of comments, but none of them useful. If they could send all irrelevant commenters to horny jail, there would be virtually no comments left. “Is there some place that would be special to him? Some place he was likely to return to?”

“The few times I met him, he came either to the Professor’s house or to the studio. Both the location of the Professor’s old house and the old studio have been built into other things by now, so I don’t suspect they’re possible hits. We never went to his place, and I don’t know what theater he was operating out of. The only specific theater I can even think of is one that would have meant something to Ghost and myself, but not to him.”

“Yea? What theater was that?”

“It is pretty far outside of the pentagram. It is the theater where Ghost and I performed our final act together, and where he tried to kill us both.”

“… Tried to kill you both by calling in exorcists. Where you lost your angelic weapon. You think it’s possible…”

“I mean, it’s not… there’s not a zero chance of it,” Pentious said.

“I’m going to contact Al.”

.

Alastor, Vaggie, and Husk arrived at the old theater. It had almost collapsed it on itself by then. Arackniss had returned to the main control center.

“This it?” Vaggie asked, using her phone to show the location to Pentious.

“That’s it. It’s even more rotted than last time I saw it.”

The group moved cautiously inside. They only had to take a few steps before they saw exactly what they were looking for. Hanging from what remained of the ceiling, tied by ropes around her waist, was Niffty.

“Niffty!” Husk whispered.

“Don’t,” Vaggie said, holding him back. “It has to be a trap.”

“How astute an observation. Too bad you’ve already stepped into the trap,” Dramatica said, emerging from the shadows. Both his twisted mask faces were cracked, injuries that had been inflicted by Alastor long ago.

“I’ve been waiting so long to get my revenge on you, Radio Demon.” There were several cracking noises, like the theater itself was breaking apart. A second later, Husk was suddenly snatched up by something that dropped from the ceiling and retracted. When they looked up, Vaggie’s face twisted in horrified confusion.

“Ghost?! HOW? We saw your body, and the angelic weapon…”

“Our mutual friend Shiny Penny accidentally found the answer. Ask him about the time he duplicated himself. Also, please do tell him that his work on creating golems or homunculi, whichever name you prefer, out of biological material instead of clay has been quite helpful to me. He really is a unique genius.” Vaggie suddenly felt a sharp pain in her leg and looked down to see what appeared to be Ghost had risen out of the shadows and was clamped onto her. But… Ghost was still up above, holding Husk, wasn’t he?

Alastor pulled back, another Ghost copy having clamped onto his leg. “Did you know that dead cobras can still deliver a lethal bite?” he laughed. A dozen more of the Ghost corpses were coming out of the shadows, latching onto Vaggie and Alastor as they tried to fight back. It seemed like for everyone one they hit, another one managed to bite into them. There were enough of them to overwhelm even Alastor’s powers, especially with their ability to disappear before he could strike them. “It really is too bad our mutual friend had to go and wipe his mind. I really didn’t want to have to kill him, but without it, he’s useless to me.” 

Vaggie felt back, feeling dizzy. She could tell from the way Alastor braced himself on one of the seat backs that he was feeling it as well. “One Ghost doesn’t have enough venom to take down an Overlord, but what if I have more than one?!” Dramatica laughed. “Oh, don’t worry, the venom won’t kill you. I’m going to have the fun of doing that part myself.”

Vaggie tried to get to her phone, but her fingers wouldn’t work. It dropped on the ground with a heavy clank, the screen shattering.

.

“Something must have gone wrong. It’s been too long since they checked in,” Charlie said nervously. “We lost their signal when they went into the building, and none of them are answering when I try to call them.”

“Do we go after them?” Cherri said with a frown.

“And possibly fall into whatever got them as well?” Baxter asked.

“Wait, I’ve got an idea. We should send someone… a little more expendable in to see what happened,” Pentious suggested. “I mean, instead of us rushing in there just to have the same thing happen again.”

.

“No sign of them, bossman,” Egg Boi 3.14 reported back, having been teleported by Charlie to the site. They were carrying camera phones with flashlights and had been ordered to press a button to request a return teleport from Charlie the second anything seemed suspicious.

“We should have done this first,” Baxter said. Well, hindsight was 20/20.

“Oh, oh, there’s something on the stage!” 23 informed them. It took him awhile to climb up onto the stage, given his short stature, but he finally made it.

“Vaggie!” Charlie cried in alarm. “Is she…”

“I think she’s breathing? What does breathing look like?” 23 asked.

“23, hold onto miss Vaggie so we can teleport the two of you back to the hotel. 69 and 3.14, keep searching. Report back anything, even if it seems insignificant!” Pentious ordered.

“Vaggie!” Charlie cried, catching her and holding her tightly when the reverse teleport was completed. “Vaggie, what happened?!”

“She’s breathing, but unconscious,” Baxter said.

“… These are snake bites,” Pentious said darkly, studying her arms and legs. “Dozens of them.”

“What do we do?” Cherri asked.

“I’ve got anti-venom for myself just in case I… accidentally get a little too excited during my nocturnal enjoyments with Niss,” Pentious said, feeling a little embarrassed. “If these bites came from mine or a closely related species it should work. If not, it at least won’t hurt anything.”

“Bossman, bossman!” came a frantic egg voice over the phones again. “We found rocks, and sticks, and… oh, and the kitty and the cyclops.”

.

Vaggie was the first one to come back around, groaning as she slowly opened her eyes. “Ch… Charlie… Dramatica… attacked us. He duplicated Ghost somehow, dozens of copies” she managed to choke out before the effort launched her into a coughing fit. “We were overwhelmed. Even Alastor couldn’t handle that much venom at once.”

“That explains why my anti-venom is working. Ghost and I are the same species,” Pentious said with a frown. He was sitting over Husk and Niffty, waiting for either of them to regain consciousness.

“Does this mean Al is… Al is…” Angel stuttered.

“Not yet. At least, I don’t think so. Dramatica wants this to be a big production. He wants everyone to see him kill the Radio Demon. He wouldn’t have done it in a lonely theater with no eyes on him,” Pentious reasoned.

“But why did he let everyone else go?” Arackniss wondered.

“… They’re technically my employees, despite having been brought here by Alastor. Alastor… isn’t. He must have realized there was a chance my family would get involved if he harmed demons under the protection of my hotel. I… I should have gotten my parents involved when Niffty went missing, but I was too embarrassed. This is… this is all my fault. If I’d just contacted them…”

“It’s no one’s fault except Ghost and Dramatica,” Vaggie said, giving Charlie’s hand a squeeze.

“I have an idea how he got the copies. Normally when a demon is lethally injured their original body disappears and they reappear somewhere else, or they return to their body once it has had enough healing time, depending on the extent of the damage,” Pentious said. “But the one time I was crushed to death inches from being killed by an Exorcist, a duplicate copy of my body was created. Ghost would have seen it happen. Dramatica must be exploiting some kind of ‘glitch’ in the death process created by proximity to angelic weapons to make duplicate bodies.”

“He said... Pentious’ work on... biological golems was how he made them move...”

“Of course! That was the real thing they wanted from house! They were after my notes on how I created the Egg Bois! I keep the final version in a safe place, but they would have been able to get enough of my rough notes to piece my process together.”

“Yeah, nice logic, but none of this helps us! We need to find Al before it’s too late,” Angel urged.

“We shouldn’t put all our eggs in one basket,” Pentious said in return. “Ah, no offense, Egg Bois. I meant... perhaps instead of only trying to _find_ him, we create the conditions to _bring_ him to us.”

“What do you mean?” Arackniss asked.

“Angel Dust and Xanthe, live in an outdoor concert, the night before the cleanse. Every reporter in Hell and all of Vox’s media looking at us. He won’t be able to resist that being the backdrop to kill the Radio Demon in front of,” Angel said, understanding Pentious’ line of thinking perfectly.

“Don’t you mean Xanthe and Angel Dust? But otherwise, as much as I hate to admit it, I believe Angel is correct,” Pentious said. “The other problem is, someone in this hotel is a traitor, and given that we’re all in the room together, unless Husk or Miss Niffty really is the traitor, they’re bound to tell him the plan.”

“That’s fine. Let him know we’ll be expecting him. Tell him that if he really wants to prove he’s all that and deserves to a top honcho Overlord instead of low tier again, he’ll pull it off even with us knowing he’s coming. Otherwise, he’s just a coward,” Angel said. “In fact, let’s give him billing on the concert announcement. Then he really can’t ignore it.”

“What makes you think the Vs will sign onto this?”

“Val will do anything for money, Velvet will do anything for drama, and if we tell Vox this might be his only chance to make sure he’s the one to end the Radio Demon, I think that’d be enough. Not to mention, they’re pretty pissed at Dramatica themselves.”

“… Sounds like we’re really going to do this,” Pentious sighed.

“I don’t see a choice,” Angel answered.


	9. The Final Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the big finale, everyone take your places

“You ready to do this, Xanthe?” Angel asked.

“No, but the show must go on anyway,” Xanthe answered.

“Break a leg out there.”

“I don’t have any legs, but I appreciate your concern,” came the answer as the stage lights came up. “Sorry, just a bit of theater snake humor.”

“You know, there are sides to you I’ve never seen. Maybe we could even sort of tolerate each other someday.”

.

“Oh, wow, he gave us all the way until the third song. I had expected sooner,” Angel said when the massive portal suddenly blew open in the middle of the stage. The audience wasn’t sure if this was part of the show or not, so the cheers all had a hint of confusion behind them. “You ready to fight this out, Xanthe?” he asked, preparing his guns. “Can you even fight in that outfit?”

Xanthe already had his chains manifested in both hands. “I’ve been picking fights in tighter clothing since before you were in your daddy’s sack,” he answered.

“Hey, good one. Maybe you are teachable.”

It was only Dramatica how stepped out, facing the two angry performers. He looked calmly over the crowd. “Hello, everyone. You may be too young to remember my glory days, but I am Lord Dramatica, the rightful Overlord of all things theater,” he announced himself to the crowd with a bow. “And instead of this mindless pop entertainment, I’ve brought you… a real show!” he announced.

“Here they come,” Angel said as the Ghost clones rose out of the shadows. But… they weren’t alone. “What the…”

“Oh, you didn’t expect me to clone… your friends?” he asked with a laugh. There were dozens of copies not only of Ghost… but of Husk, Nifty, and Vaggie. He must not have been able to clone Alastor, because those clones were conspicuously absent, thank Lucifer.

“Shit,” Angel shouted. “Everyone be careful! Don’t hit the real ones!”

The only good thing to be said about the clones was that, being built using the same techniques as Egg Bois, they were about as strong… and about as durable. It wasn’t that taking them down was the problem, it was taking down the sheer numbers he was throwing at them.

He hadn’t just launched an attack on the performers. He’d predictably tried to go after the Vs as well. They were more than capable of holding off an army made of mindless zombified corpses.

“Get your gross hands off me!” Xanthe ordered, using his chains to decapitate one of the Ghost clones. “Angel, where is Alastor? He has to be somewhere in this mess.”

Angel looked up at the large main screen at the backdrop of the stage and realized something was hanging in front of it. A familiar form, suspended by ropes in front of the whited-out screen, obviously unconscious. “Spotted,” Angel said. “Cover me, I’m going in.”

It was the first time Xanthe had seen him use any of his abilities related to the fact that he was supposedly a jumping spider. He was fast, and covered long distances easily, basically Mario-jumping from the head of one clone to another, smashing their faces into the ground in the process.

Angel and Husk reached the screen at the same time, but as they tried to make their way up to Alastor, they were forced back by a painful electric shock. “Barrier,” Husk said, grabbing his wing in pain.

“That’s right. You’re not going to be able to anything but watch as I do… this!” Dramatica said, pulling out the angelic weapon and aiming it directly at the unconscious Alastor’s chest.

“AL! AL! YOU NEED TO WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Husk shouted, pounding on the barrier even though the shocks burned through his hands.

“There has to be another way in, there has to be!” Angel said, head swiveling back and forth wildly.

“Goodbye, Radio Demon!” Lord Dramatica laughed. Right as he was about to swing down, a laser beam from the air hit the barrier, shattering it into thousands of glittering pieces in the air, a perfect storm of glitter. The laser went straight through Dramatica’s chest, throwing him across the stage with smoke rising out of his body. The crowd was going absolutely insane, thinking this was just the best concert performance ever.

“Husk, you get Al, I’ll cover Dramatica!” Angel ordered.

Dramatica leaned up on one elbow. “H… how…?” he asked, smoke coming out of his masks. He was putting a lot of power into rapid healing, so he wouldn’t be down long. The others had to work fast.

“I am so glad Pent got the frequency right to smash Dramatica’s barrier,” Arackniss said from up in the airship with the Egg Bois and Hat. He had the front glass window open and was leaned halfway out so he could evaluate the extent of the damage. They’d just used the rebuilt lower laser to punch a hole in the Overlord. Amazing what it could do if given time to fully charge. “Pull us back now, as much firepower as this has, it doesn’t have any armor and won’t take a counter hit!”

“Sure, there’s just one adjustment I have to make first,” 3.14 said.

“And what is…” Arackniss didn’t get to finish, the pain ripping through his body as a laser beam hit his back. Unprepared for the force of the impact, he lost his grip on the front of the airship, falling into the chaotic sky above the stage fight.

“3.14! What did you do?” 23 asked, frantic. Smoking ray gun in hand, 3.14 turned around slowly.

“Bossman does not pay any attention to us now that he’s got a spider,” 3.14 said darkly, turning his gun on Hat and the other two remaining Egg Bois.

“But spider makes bossman happy!” 69 argued.

“We make bossman happy! Or should I say, I make bossman happy,” he said, firing again, splatting 69 across the wall. “I helped the other snake find bossman’s notes. I planted the bugs. I cut the chains to the basement. Snake was going to take bossman and me away from the nasty spider. Just me. Not you.” As Egg Bois tended to talk relatively slowly, it took him awhile to get his villainous monologue out.

23 narrowed his eyes. “No one shoots me with a ray gun except bossman,” he said, dodging 3.14’s next attack and launching himself at the other egg. “FOR BOSSMAN!” he screamed, punching 3.14 right across the kisser. The ray gun was dropped and skittered across the air ship floor.

A very frantic Hat suddenly realized he was the only one in control of steering the airship as the two eggs continued their fight, rolling around on the floor punching each other. Who is driving? Hat is driving. Hat had no arms or legs to drive with.

“NISS!” Pentious screamed when he saw the form falling from the airship. Even if he was dressed as Xanthe at the moment, that was his true personality screaming out in terror.

Another Ghost copy made a lunge. Pentious grabbed him by the head and slammed him face-first into the stage, getting his head stuck through it. “Let’s hope that a snake can do whatever a spider can,” Pentious said to himself, whipping his chains around the lighting fixtures like spider man throwing webbing to get himself to the top of the rig as quickly as possible.

Even with his increased size in full demon form, he wasn’t going to make it. As fast as he could go, going so fast he was tearing his skin open on sharp edges of the rig, he wasn’t fast enough. Niss was going to hit the ground full force.

Having no choice, he jumped, hands outstretched. I’m going to miss by inches, he realized. I’m so close. Please, please, he mentally pleaded.

Just as he was about to barely miss, the falling spider reached out, grabbing his hands. Pentious quickly wrapped himself tightly around Arackniss, using his coils to absorb the force of the impact at they hit the stage hard. Arackniss heard bones crunching, and the worst part was not knowing whose bones were breaking.

“Niss!” Angel screamed. He had Dramatica right there under his boot. But… his brother took priority. He hated it, but he left Dramatica lying on the ground, running to where the canon balling snake had left an impact crater in stage. “NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISS!” he screamed.

“I’m okay,” he coughed, but the blood dripping from the corners of his mouth said otherwise. “Egg… Egg Boi 3.14 is the traitor! The pi is a lie!”

“What?!”

“Forget him for now. Pent, Pent, wake up! Pent!” he whimpered, shaking the unconscious snake. “He took the full force of the landing for me.”

“I will not be brought down by a transvestite porn star and a cross dressing stripper!” Dramatica screamed, throwing himself at them, angelic blade extended.

“ANGEL! NO!” Arackniss screamed, reaching out. Angel was too far away. Dramatica would get there first. No, no!

A falling Egg Boi suddenly smashed onto Dramatica’s head, causing him to stumble backwards. A second after he ripped the egg off his face, Dramatica was frozen, surrounded by a glowing red outline. You could see the expression of “oh, fuck,” on his face as he was crumpled up into a tennis-ball sized bundle of meat and bone, brains and blood squishing out of it like a sponge being wrung out. Amazing how much blood is in one demon when you really get down to it. The angelic weapon dropped to the stage with a clattering sound.

“Nice timing, Smiles,” Angel said. Husk had to keep the Radio Demon upright, but the force of his anger was enough that he would have been able to rip Dramatica apart a hundred times over even before he was able to sit upright on his own again.

“Why is it that no one ever listens to my warnings?” Alastor asked, picking the angelic blade up with his powers. A second later it vanished, spirited off to wherever Alastor wanted it to go.

The last of the clones squished underneath Vox’s foot a moment later. “Well, well, well, Radio Demon. I do believe you now… how shall I put this… owe us one for saving your afterlife?” Vox asked with a smile.

“Don’t push me,” Alastor responded angrily as Charlie and Vaggie joined them up on the stage, smothering him with hugs he didn’t want.

“We need to get to our shelters. The cleanse will be here tomorrow,” Charlie noted, looking at the countdown clock. “And by tomorrow, I mean, within hours. But what are we going to do with him?” she said, referring to what was left of Dramatica.

“He will regenerate, but it will take him some time, and he’ll barely have any power left. AS for this…” the ball of what was left of the Overlord burst into flames. “Even I wouldn’t eat meat that greasy.”

“Wait, which Egg Boi was that? Did the good one or the traitor win?” Arackniss asked.

“I’ll check it out,” Husk offered, handing Alastor off to Charlie. Fortunately, he found 23 and Hat celebrating their win over the rotten egg, and 23 was able to give him enough directions to fly the airship back to the hotel.

.

Alastor was sprawled out on the couch with a barf bucket, still not over the effects of being considerably over-dosed with demon snake venom. He wasn’t, however, as miserable as Pentious, who was being wrapped in a full tail cast.

“Fortunately, because you’re a demon you should heal in a week or so, but we don’t want your bones to heal together wrong,” the doctor Charlie had called in explained. “You’d be in this for months if you were a mortal.”

“That doesn’t exactly make me feel any better,” Pentious said.

“Poor noodle,” Arackniss chuckled. His chest was heavily bandaged. The laser hit hadn’t done any significant damage, as it had been a small caliber laser, although he was going to be hurting for some time. Fortunately, Egg Bois were too stupid to aim for vital organs. “I’ll have to feed you noodle soup until you can move on your own again.”

“I hate noodle soups,” Pentious said, making a face.

“Hush, they’re good for you. You can worry about going back to your performance career after you’re better… if that’s what you still want to do, that is?”

“You… would be okay with that?” Pentious asked.

“I want you to be happy, noodle,” Arackniss answered, squeezing his hand.

“But I want you to be happy, too.”

“Then let’s… compromise. We’ll work something out with the Vs, but you’re doing it with me. Not alone.”

“Please push my expulsion bucket closer,” Alastor groaned.

“I’m just glad that’s all over with,” Husk grunted.

“… Yes, although I suppose once I’m healed, I should start looking for another place to live,” Pentious sighed.

Baxter’s expression was one of pure joy until Charlie broke in, “Oh, you can stay here as long as you want while you look for another place to live! We’ve got plenty of room, and I don’t mind. Also, I talked to my mom, and the glitch that allows for making body duplicates is being… dealt with. No more worries about someone exploiting that loophole again.” She’d actually talked to her mom’s secretary, but they had taken the situation very seriously.

“I guess this means we’re all spending Extermination day together?” Angel asked.

“Sure… sure sounds that way,” Charlie said. Her usually cheerful face had an odd expression on it, partially glad that they could be together, and partially sad that she hadn’t managed to redeem a soul in their first year of operation.

“Hey, princess. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You’ll get a sinner into Heaven eventually,” Husk encouraged, with Niffty nodding vigorously in agreement.

“You… you really believe in me?” she asked. “Husk, you do care!”

“Well, I.. uh… oh no, Al is throwing up again!”

“No, I am not.”

“Yes, you are!” Husk said, grabbing the bucket and basically shoving Alastor’s face into it. Anything to avoid that topic of conversation.

“Speaking of caring... um... I’m sorry about the things I said to you, Princess. Anthony. I inherited pop’s hot temper whether I wanted it or not, but I shouldn’t let it get the best of me or I’ll end up like him. And I’m… uh… real sorry I shot you. I just… can’t’ stop thinking like pops, ya know? That’s no excuse, but…”

“It’s gonna be okay, bro. Hey, think of this: last year we all spent Extermination Day alone. This year, we’re doing it together,” Angel said in a rare moment of tenderness, giving his brother an unwanted hug. “And there’s no group of weirdos I’d rather be spending it with than all of you.”

“Okay, now I do require the bucket.”

“You know, Anthony, there’s just ONE thing that’s still bothering me. I know Val made you take that picture with my boyfriend, but…” he dipped the snake back as much as he could without disturbing the cast and landed the most passionate kiss straight on his snake’s face. It was one of those ‘when will they come up for air’ kisses. “THIS is how you kiss my boyfriend. If you’re gonna do it, you should at least do it _right_.”

If snakes could melt like ice cream, Pentious would have been a puddle.

“We should all try to get at least a few hours of sleep in before it’s Extermination Day,” Vaggie pointed out. “If we’re all going to be stuck together all day tomorrow, I’d rather we NOT be cranky.”

Everyone agreed, Arackniss helping Pentious back to his room since the cast made slithering nearly impossible. He’d told his father that he’d caught the one responsible for the fire and made up a cover story that he’d had the gunsmith working on a special project for him and that way why someone was targeting the place. He wasn’t sure his dad believed him, but as he’d truthfully said he wasn’t in a position to get back before Extermination started, he at least had time for pops to cool down before he’d have to confront him.

“You know, Pent,” he said as he set the snake down on the bed. “Almost losing you made me realize how much you mean to me. I… when you’re not with me, I start turning into my father again and I… I hate that side of myself. I mean, I SHOT my brother for Lucifer’s sake!”

“I’m sorry I worried you. I never stopped thinking about you while I was with the Vs!”

“Yeah but I… I can’t really lecture you on being true to yourself when I’m not being true to myself. So, screw what pops thinks. Screw what everyone thinks. I want to do something to make sure no one breaks us apart ever again.”

“… Niss? What are you thinking of? And… why are you getting down on one knee?”

“Pe… Pe… Pent? Will you m… m… m….”

…

Far away, a hand with long, manicured fingers tapped angrily on the arm of a chair. “The so-called Happy Hotel was supposed to be a pile of broken dreams and tears by now. How could a plan I spent so long on fail? Ah, I suppose the problem was that I relied on idiot minions. I guess the old adage is true. If you want something done right… you’ve got to do it yourself.”


End file.
